


2020 Relics

by Mister_Spock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23560240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Mister_Spock
Summary: This is for the unfinished stories to go and retire and for any short prompts.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. Logical Rebellion

**Author's Note:**

> Spock's POV. Apparently, Spock's mind sounds kinda human. Who'd have thunk it?

He never spoke of her. Never. 

He wouldn't mention her when the destruction that caused her death came up. Vulcan was destroyed. Vulcan. Not her.  
And really, he tried not to think about that much either. Because there was always something brewing with the enormity of that loss, not just for him personally but his species.  
And they all felt that loss. Like survivors guilt migraine that never went away. 

He wondered what it would feel like when eventually, it all became too much. Because he was certain that one day it would happen. One day, he'd no longer be able to hold it all back and when that happened.... well, he didn't know what. He knew it wouldn't be good, but he didn't know how bad it would be either.  
The mental connection that held the remaining Vulcan's together was a lifeline, but if the worst did happen, if he did get consumed in it all one day, would he take the rest of them out with him? 

He inhaled. Deeply. Thoughts like this didn't help him. They panicked him. He needed to calm his mind. He had a shift soon. And he refused to let anything show.  
The crew thought he was emotionless. Well, if not goaded about his mother's recent passing anyway. And there wasn't that many crew on the bridge who saw his fight with Kirk. And no one had ever mentioned it again. Like it hadn't happened.  
It did though, didn't it?

Of course, it did. He could still feel the shame after he came back to himself after the rage slowly ebbed from him and all that was left was guilt and shame as they crew stood there staring at him, at what he'd done.  
It was why he returned to the bridge so quickly because if he hadn't, he would never have been able to face them again. 

Afterwards, when he'd requested to join the Enterprise as First Officer and been accepted, he was sat eating alone one day when Chekov came and sat opposite him. He hadn't asked if he could and he had found the approach odd and... uncomfortable. 

Chekov hadn't looked at him to start with and he could feel the unease radiating from him. He couldn't eat anything after that. His own stomach started to churn with nerves. And then Chekov had started to mumble an apology, tripping over words and expressing what had happened, why he hadn't saved her and he watched, actually watched as tears dropped onto the table and splattered as he spoke and he couldn't stop him, couldn't say a word.  
He just sat there, numb and stupid. Because he hadn't expected it and the worse thing you could do to an emotionally crippled Vulcan was bring up a recent trauma and start a conversation about it. It was stupid. 

But Chekov was human and humans were stupid. And because he had just sat there staring at this boy sobbing in front of him, someone, probably McCoy, had come over and whisked Chekov away.

He'd sat there with his mostly untouched food and a wet patch on the table and tried to process it. What did he do now? He knew it was a guilt thing and he needed to resolve it somehow. It took days of meditation for him to be able to get into the right mind to be able to speak to Chekov about it. It was awkward and he still cried, but he was able to alleviate some of the guilt. It felt stupid to have to help someone not feel guilty about something they were guilty of. But better than have another episode like before. 

Through Starfleet regulations, he was required to have counselling sessions with McCoy. He didn't find them helpful. McCoy just repeatedly got mad for him being 'a robot'. He told McCoy every time that he meditated often about the emotional implications of 'that day', which helped him greatly but McCoy's just hit back with regulations, knowing he would not disobey them.  
So they sat and argued or sat in silence because he refused to talk about whatever stupid thing McCoy had asked (“Do you miss her?” “Does it make you angry” “Did you love her?”). But after the conversation with Chekov, he had arrived for the session with something to say for once. “I don't want anyone to mention my Mother's death.” McCoy had made a note on his PADD while maintaining eye contact with him. He'd wondered, idly, if the note made any sense. McCoy motioned for him to continue.  
“Mister Chekov seems to be deeply affected by his own part in what happened. As though the death is on him and him only. Therefore, I feel it would be prudent not to mention it.”

McCoy made another note, looking down at the PADD this time. “I don't work on the bridge but I can't imagine the topic of conversation turns to your dead mother that often. But you're right, I know if I were Chekov, I would hold a great deal of guilt about what happened. So how do you feel about him?” 

“I wish nothing bad upon him if that's what you mean,” Spock said. 

“No, that's not what I mean. I mean if Chekov and Sulu both needed rescuing and you could only save one, you'd save Sulu, right? Or would you be so desperate to prove that you didn't harbour ill feelings towards the man who let your Mother die that you'd save him despite your hatred towards him?”

McCoy's questions in these sessions had become more and more savage the longer they had them. McCoy was desperate to get that emotional response from him. 

“It's not going to happen. I will not... break just because you repeatedly talk about my dead mother and the cause of her death. I am prepared for this, for you. I am fit for duty.”

“So, you don't blame Chekov?”

He sighed loudly. Not something he did often. McCoy was exhausting. “No.” It was all he would say, even though McCoy pushed for more, he refused to answer anything else. He felt McCoy's frustration building before he dropped it. 

“So Chekov isn't to blame. You said no, you don't blame him. What about you? How much do you blame yourself?”

“I didn't create a black hole,” he answered. He was aware that he didn't sound as sure of himself as he wanted too with that answer. And McCoy wouldn't miss that. He expected him to push for more but he didn't. He let that idea of guilt linger and McCoy looked down at his PADD again. McCoy was waiting for something and he had all the time in the world. 

McCoy was smart and knew, knew that he would break if he was forced in a situation like this, with that question in his mind. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. “I am returning to my quarters.” 

“We're not finished,” McCoy tried.

“I am.”

“You're in violation of Starfleet regulations.”

“So report me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a continuation of a series I started. This was to be the concluding story but I didn't feel like I love this work and others seemed disinterest also so I guess I'll come back to that another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (original note)
> 
> This is the third and final part to 'All That You Can't Leave Behind' & 'The Void'. This story is a follow on to those two stories and will be a bit lost on anyone who hasn't read those two stories.  
> I will write up a short summary of those two stories at the end of the first chapter also as a reminder for anyone who may have forgotten.
> 
> This story may feature some descriptions of violent acts throughout the story.  
> If any references are made to rape, I will give you a fair warning in the chapter it is contained in.

Summary: Spock is living on Earth trying to come to terms everything that he has been told he went through but without the memories of them.

Notes: This is the third and final part to 'All That You Can't Leave Behind' & 'The Void'. This story is a follow on to those two stories and will be a bit lost on anyone who hasn't read those two stories.   
I will write up a short summary of those two stories at the end of the first chapter also as a reminder for anyone who may have forgotten. 

Warning: This story may feature some descriptions of violent acts carried out from the start. 

Prologue

“When he was talking, he was asking for you.”

McCoy walked beside the other man. “I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here. We didn't get the message until we completed the mission.”

“Oh, I understand. Space travel isn't always easy.”

“So wait, you said when he was talking? He's not talking any more?”

“He's in a bit of a stupor right now. Are you ready to see him?”

McCoy sighed and nodded and the door opened. 

1.

If it were not for the heavy layer of thick grey clouds, today would be pleasant. 

The air was warm, not too hot and the breeze was very gentle, just occasionally blowing gently so it felt refreshing. Birds in the trees close by chirped as Spock took it all in. 

He had decided today was the perfect day for a walk. There were several hiking paths close to the area he was staying and he meant to go on at least one before he left for his next destination. Europe had been a good idea, he decided. It got him away from people he knew and constant reminders of them. Of their betrayal.   
He rubbed absently at the back of his hand. 

It still hurt. He had hoped that things would settle within him with time and distance but they did not seem to be doing either. He should not be surprised by that, seeing as he had no way to make peace with it, but how could he? The people with all the answers were not people he wanted to speak too. 

Uhura and his father's betrayals had hurt the worst. He recalled Ambassador Spock telling him how fortunate he was that he and his father were so close when the Ambassador had always had a strained relationship with his own father. That betrayal hurt maybe more than the others. He had started to consider those less damaging as they were inflicted by humans and by this point, he was starting to consider the possibility that all humans lied. Constantly too. 

Uhura had been his partner. His intimate partner. One who he had assumed would be his life mate. They would bond and raise a family together. And then, that was over too.   
Kirk and McCoy were barely a blip compared to the loss of those two relationships too him. And yet somehow, the betrayal felt just as bad. Hurt as much. 

He sighed, frustrated with himself. This never did any good.   
Going around in circles. He would never understand it because he did not know why they would do this to him. He massaged one hand with the other, a dull ache needing to be soothed. 

'Don't think about it', he told himself. 'It is the past.' 

If he only could live with it. A sharp pain in his hand stopped his train of thought. He looked down at it, not sure why he expected it to look any different. It certainly felt different. A sharp, stabbing pain. But he reasoned that throughout life, there were aches and pains and sensations that just couldn't be ignored but were short-lived and meant nothing. As quickly as the pain came, it went. 

He should get back. The sun was setting and he still needed to eat something. His growling stomach protested the lack of food within it and he ignored it like he often did. Eating was it's only issue these days. He stood and took a few steps when he doubled over with pain. His hand again, throbbing. He looked at it again, this time expecting it to be damaged in some way, but it still looked perfect and normal. He stood up straighter, but the pain on his face couldn't be hidden. He saw too joggers up ahead coming towards him and he staggered into the treeline to avoid anyone seeing him. 

He cradled his hand against himself, trying to remain silent as the pain continued until it flared horribly and burning sensation joining the previous pain. He felt flesh melting from his hand, through tendons and veins until there was just bones remaining, but his hand remained perfectly fine. But he felt the pain, his body was reacting to the pain and when he felt a shattering of bones within his hand that was the moment he lost consciousness. 

2.

McCoy sat down in the empty seat and observed the man he was here to see. 

Spock had a vague, empty look on his face, his jaw slightly slack, mouth agape, not something common to see. 

“Is he drugged?” McCoy asked. 

“A fairly strong sedative was used, although he never lost consciousness like be thought he would,” The other man explained, as he found the relevant information in Spock's notes and handed the PADD to McCoy so he could see what they had used. He didn't recognise having ever come across it in regards to Spock so he doubted it was something that was very compatible with him. Which helped explain the state he was in now. 

McCoy handed the PADD back to the other Doctor and said “Would you mind if I observed him alone for a while?” 

“Not at all. Do you want to read his notes first?” 

“No, I want to make my own observations and see what I get from them first.” 

The doctor nodded and headed out leaving the two of them alone.   
Spock seemed to be completely vacant. He wasn't sure if it was only the drugs they had given him to blame for that. Something had been wrong with Spock before that. He had wound up in this facility after all. But he didn't know exactly how that had happened. It was hard to imagine Spock willingly walking into a mental health clinic and asking for help, yet it seemed just as unlikely that he became so disturbed that he had been detained and bought here.   
He made a mental note to ask the doctor about that afterwards.

It was time to observe Spock. Besides from the vacant state he was currently in, McCoy could tell just from looking at him that Spock had lost weight. Not enough to be alarming, but enough to be noticed. His face looked pinched. His hair looked dishevelled, but it had been well maintained. It wasn't longer than ordinary so he had been making sure he stayed groomed. Whatever had happened to Spock seemed to have come on suddenly. 

McCoy had been told Spock had been asking for him, so he hoped that the next step might help them both a little. “Spock?” he said softly. He didn't want to startle or alarm the other man.   
Spock's eye twitched but he didn't move other than that. But McCoy took it as a good sign. The doctor had said it was a strong sedative they had used, so it could account for something. 

“It's McCoy. Leonard McCoy from the Enterprise.” He spoke slowly and calmly in the voice he usually reserved for the very young, the very old and the very frightened. Spock could possibly fall into the latter category right now. “I got a call from the Doctor here. You were asking for me. I came as soon as I could.” 

Spock slowly blinked but made no other movement. McCoy ignored the slight drool at the corner of his mouth. Spock blinked again and his eyes were slower to open the second time. “You're exhausted,” McCoy surmised. “I want you to get some rest.” 

McCoy got up and made his way to the bed, pulling back the blanket. He went back to Spock who had been dressed in a pair of the hospitals white pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt. He had nothing on his feet. He tried to get Spock to get up and walk over to the bed but Spock made no attempt to move. Sighing, McCoy gently put his hand on Spock's arm to help him up. 

That was when the shit hit the fan. 

3.

McCoy had come out of the room once Doctor Marr had entered and taken control of the situation, aided by two nurses. He'd called for a sedative and McCoy had instructed them on the strongest one he knew was safe for Spock. That was when he left. 

He went outside for some fresh air, trying to analyse what exactly had just happened. 

Spock had been in a mostly catatonic state. Nothing was getting through to him but the second McCoy had physically touched him he proved that he wasn't as dormant as McCoy had suspected. McCoy had stepped back from Spock expecting that to calm him and also a little out of self interest. He knew how strong Spock was. He could kill a human with little effort should he want too. But his retreat made little difference and Spock was left a screaming mess of hysteria as McCoy stood and observed him dumbly with no idea what to do. 

That was when the others had taken over. In reality all they had down was sedated him. He could have done that, he just wasn't prepared for Spock's reaction to be so extreme from the almost zombie state moments before.   
He wished he had a strong drink right then but the absence of one was probably a good thing. He sighed and headed back inside. 

The doctor was waiting for him outside Spock's room. McCoy could see a nurse was sat beside the bed monitoring him. Turning to McCoy slightly he said “I'm having the nurse observe him for a little while, though usually he's fine once sedated.”

“Usually?” McCoy queried. 

“When we first had him bought in the sedatives weren't really helping as much. I've had no problems since we went to the stronger ones.” 

McCoy just nodded. “What the hell was that?”

“That is the typical behaviour that he's displayed since he got here. And what bought him here in the first place. Clearly it's distressing not only himself, but those who witness it.” 

“How did he end up here?”

“Come with me to my office and we can talk privately.” 

On the way, McCoy picked up a strong coffee, the best he could get, and they were soon sat in Marr's office. 

“Let me start by reassuring you that he is coherent. His current state is due to the medication he's on. Once the latest sedative wears off, you can talk to him.”

“How is he?”

“Well, you'll be a better judge than I. He's intelligent, rational, kind. But he's also incredibly anxious at this time. I wasn't able to get an exact time frame for how long this had been happening, but I believe we're looking at months rather than weeks. I also believe it was sporadic to start with and has become more frequent. He had sought help from a medical professional but a very public and frightening episode took place and he was bought here.” 

“Did he say what was happening to him?”

“He's very reluctant to talk about that. I'm hoping that's where you come in because he was insistent on you being here from the beginning.” 

McCoy felt something like pride mixed with pity inside. “I have noticed he's lost weight. Has he not been eating properly?”

“It's... complicated. He's hungry but outside of a couple of mouthfuls he just can't stomach anything more. It could be a side effect of the anxiety. I do think he might be playing down how much it is affecting him. But his weight is still in the health range so I'm not too alarmed right now. But, if he keeps eating how he currently is, he'll drop into the unhealthy range soon enough.”

McCoy processed that. He took it as good news. He knew how forms of anxiety could cause strange reactions physically for people. If Spock wanted to be healthy and normal, that was a good start. Better than someone deluding themselves that they were fine.  
“Okay, sounds like we have a lot of work to do. I need to call a friend of mine. I didn't tell him where I was disappearing too and I don't want him to be worried about me.” 

“That's fine. The nurse will let us know when he's conscious. There's an office I've freed up for you next door with a small sleeping quarters attached. Make yourself at home there.” 

~

“What the hell, Bones?”

“I'm sorry Jim, something came up and I didn't have time.”

“You couldn't send a quick message to me?”

“I could but I needed to go. And I needed to go without you.”

“It's just an important medical thing and I'll keep in touch. But I gotta go.”

“Wait, Bones-” 

4.

He was meditating. 

He needed it after his recent stresses and occasionally, it had been hard for him to find the time to truly indulge and meditate successfully. 

Travelling had been a good idea, he had decided. He had time to himself and that was what he needed. No one trying to influence his way of thinking or telling him what to do. For once, he had true freedom. 

And it felt good. He felt good.   
He came out of the meditation feeling like he had achieved something. His mind was clearer that it had been in weeks, maybe months. 

He rubbed his eye to clear his vision. But it wasn't any clearer. And then the pain started. He clutched at his face and rubbed at his eyes, clawed at his face as he felt for the invisible assailant. But nothing stopped it. 

And it was something he learnt to experience every time. He learnt that he could not stop it. That sometimes the amount of pain didn't tie in with when he would lose consciousness, sometimes it seemed to last for hours, sometimes a few short minutes of agony. It could build slowly with barely any pain and last for days. He'd had pain so bad he felt like he would die from it.   
There was no part of him that didn't feel the inflicted upon it. The worse ones were internal, where he couldn't see that he wasn't bleeding or being torn apart he just had to trust that it was a phantom pain of some kind. 

He thought if he kept going, eventually it would stop. He could cope until then. But it never happened. It never stopped. 

They were infrequent when they first happened. Weeks apart. Then days. Then they overlapped. Those days were the ones he feared.   
But the unpredictability of them was the worst thing. He could be fine and jarred into agony the next minute. He tried to stay in as much as he could for fear that he could have an attack outside, in public. 

And that was exactly how he ended up being committed. 

~

McCoy pulled the seat next to the bed. 

Spock was awake and back to normal, the doctor told him. He'd left McCoy to go in alone but assured him there was a nurse on standby outside, if they needed help. McCoy was worried about that. They expected this to go that badly? 

Spock made no attempt to look at who was seated beside him, not until McCoy said a gentle 'Hi,' did Spock look towards him. 

“You came?” Spock said. 

“I didn't get the message until we were on our way to earth. I came as soon as I could.” 

“I thought-” Spock thought better of telling McCoy what he had thought. That he had not wanted to have anything to do with him. He felt a strange sense of relief that the doctor was there with him. 

“How long has this been happening?” 

“I don't know when it started any more,” Spock said. 

McCoy noted the loss of Spock's sense of time and the contraction of words, something Spock didn't normally do, no matter how dire the circumstances. They could be under attack and Spock would speak full correct sentences. “Do you know what's happening to you?” 

“I have a theory,” Spock replied. 

“Want to share it?”

The door opened then as Doctor Marr stepped in. “Sorry to interrupt but it's time for lunch,” he said bringing over a tray of covered food. 

McCoy watched Spock carefully, noticing he seemed to be battling with more than one emotion. When Marr lifted the lid there was a small bowl with a few sliced vegetables. Spock balked at the sight, or perhaps smell, of them and averted his gaze. 

“Can't we do this later?” Spock asked. His voice sounded strained. 

“It's just like normal whatever you can manage okay?” The doctor encouraged. 

“I'll just move back a little,” McCoy stated as he moved the chair further away to give Spock a sense of space.   
McCoy didn't watch, at least, not openly. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought Spock had an eating disorder. He knew better than that though. 

“Let's talk outside for a moment,” Marr said, leading McCoy to follow him. There was a one way observation window where they stood and could monitor Spock. 

“There are certain things that seem to trigger one of these episodes and eating seems to be one, which is where the reluctance to consume food has come from. We've found very small portions and the vegetables to be diced into small pieces help. It's a bit of a psychological thing with food now. He worries it'll trigger him so much that it usually does.”

McCoy sighed. He was doing that a lot. “He thinks he knows what's causing this. Has he told you?” 

“He mentioned some very confusing ideas he had. It... didn't sound feasible. Which is strange since I consider him to be very sane, but when he told me that, I- well, I had a hard time believe the theory.” 

“Is that when he asked for me?” 

“Are you saying all that was real?” 

“Depends what he told you. But, I can tell you he went through some horrific stuff and it really badly affected him.”

“Well yeah. That was when he asked for you. Although he did mention you and Kirk before. He was kinda babbling then though. 

“I never told Kirk I was coming here. I didn't want him to worry.” 

“Well maybe give him a call sometime so he knows not to worry.” Marr patted McCoy on the shoulder. “You should get back in there. Maybe you can calm him enough that he forgets to freak out.” 

McCoy smiled sadly and headed back in. 

5.

McCoy wasn't enough to stop the inevitable. 

Dammit, he tried. He tried to keep Spock's mind occupied but afterwards he guessed that a Vulcan mind worked differently to a humans and could probably hold a conversation and still freak out at the same time. 

He'd seen Spock go through it before but last time had seemed different. It had seemed to come on suddenly last time, whereas he got the sense that Spock had a suspicion of what was about to happen this time. He seemed to develop nervous habits such as repetitive movements and a slight twitch.   
Then he went head first into an episode, bowl smashing to the floor and Spock becoming a screaming frantic mess. 

He was partially aware that Spock threw up what little he'd eaten during the episode and that he had passed about before they got round to sedating him.   
McCoy saw the disappointment on Marr's face when he took the scene in. The two nurses started to clean the room and Spock up without hesitation. 

“I can't help him,” McCoy admitted to himself. 

Never had the difference between Spock and humans been so stark to him. But McCoy thought that what Spock needed was a Vulcan, someone to get in his head and see what the hell was wrong. And the only person who he trusted was Sarek.   
True that the last time Sarek had been with Spock, he'd pretty much wiped out Spock's trauma in a move the others hadn't agreed to and then high-tailed it out of there, but McCoy also knew he, above anyone else, had Spock's best interests at heart. 

And McCoy himself was desperate to help Spock. What else could he do? He couldn't talk Spock out of this. There was nothing physically ailing Spock. 

He decided to try and continue their chat from earlier which was interrupted by the arrival of food. Spock was awake but seemed more tired than before. McCoy moved the chair closer to the bed again and sat down. “You okay?”

“No.” 

Spock didn't explain further but McCoy didn't think he needed to. He looked miserable and he couldn't expect anything else. McCoy pulled the blanket up so it covered Spock's shoulders and then pulled a second up. He remembered a conversation Uhura had been having once about how miserable Spock got when he was cold. He'd overheard her and never said anything about it, but frequently used it to his advantage. “I want to get your father here. I don't think I can help you,” McCoy said. Honesty was all he had and it was the least Spock deserved. 

“I understand,” Spock said, never mentioning whether or not he agreed with the idea. 

“I'm sorry.”

“Doctor, I believe this is linked to my missing memories.” 

“Yeah I think so too,” he agreed. 

He looked around himself for a moment before whispering to McCoy “I don't think this is real.”

“What?” McCoy said. 

“What if this is just the next phase of their game? What if I never got off that planet?” 

“You did! Spock, I swear you did.”

McCoy's resolve steeled itself right then. “Hey, listen to me. You are here and you need some help, but you're going to be fine, okay? No one is going to hurt you, you're not in any danger. Trust me. I'm gonna get you the help you need right now.” 

~

McCoy came up with a plan. 

He needed Sarek but he had no idea how to get to him, so he needed Uhura to do that for him. He needed to speak to Jim, but he wasn't sure if he should tell him about Spock. He'd worry, he'd want to be here and Spock really wasn't visitor ready. 

Besides from that, he spoke to Doctor Marr and they decided to sedate Spock until his father arrived. His health was deteriorating with the episodes he was having, eating was an issue and it would cause problems. They'd have to take care of a few things to keep Spock healthy but it would be better than making him endure the suffering for longer. They could keep Spock sedated while Sarek came to see if he could help him. Maybe the next time Spock was conscious, it would all be over? God, he hoped so.


	3. sacrifice

Sacrifice

Prompt: Spock sacrifices himself for the crew (Not a death fic). 

Note: I write a lot of fics and I always struggle to think of different things to do. This is why I love requesting prompts because people think of ideas I never think of. I always like to try and think outside the box and don't write the first thing that comes to mind. I want to try and do something different and unexpected.  
This story was one I started with different intentions and then abandoned. So I decided the core of it was what was requested here and would be something that I could adapt to fit this prompt. The original story was called Solitude. 

1.

Jim pressed the chime on the door and waited a little impatiently for it to be answered. It took longer than he thought it would for Spock to call for him to enter and it took him a few moments upon the door opening to realise why. 

Spock was stood, facing the door. The lights were slowly coming up from a dimmer setting and there was a strong spicy incense that hung in the air. Jim creased his brow a little as the heavy scent went up his nose and he tried to hold back a sneeze. He noticed the mat on the floor by Spock's feet and that's when he realised Spock had been meditating. 

“Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt?” Jim asked. 

“I has almost finished my session of meditation any way.” Spock replied politely. “Was there something I could do for you, Jim?” 

“Yeah, actually I was just wondering if you were busy this evening?” 

“No, I have nothing planned for this evening,” Spock informed him, as he bent down and rolled up his meditation mat. When he stood again, Jim was openly studying the inside of his quarters with fascination. 

“Are these all genuine?” Jim asked, hand ghosting close to one of the weapons on the wall. 

“Merely replicas. I have genuine articles on Earth. There were many more still with my parents home on Vulcan.”

“Oh right,” Jim trailed off and dropped his hands to his side. He went to painful lengths not to look at anything on the walls again. 

“Jim?” Came McCoy's voice as he walked the hallway. The door was still open due to Jim's closeness to it. 

“I'm in here,” he replied. 

McCoy stayed out of sight but Spock heard him say 'Have you asked him yet?'

“So, McCoy and I were just going to go planetside and I was wondering,” he seemed to stall for a moment, looked down as though he were afraid to ask. 

Spock overheard McCoy mutter 'Christ, just ask him already!' 

A slight blush tinted Jim's cheeks as he looked back up at Spock. “Would you be okay to cover for me? I'm supposed to be on call out for Delta shift tonight but while we're so close to the starbase, me and Bones were going to go for a few drinks, let off some steam, you know?”

Spock didn't know and he stood staring at Jim, unblinking, for longer than was comfortable, his face an impassive mask. “Of course, Captain,” he said eventually. “Please keep safe,” he added. 

“Does that go for me too, Spock?” McCoy called out, still unseen to Spock. 

“Yes. Of course. Goodnight,” Spock replied. 

“Thanks, Spock,” Jim said. “I owe you.”

~

Spock had decided to wait up in his quarters until Jim returned. 

He wouldn't be able to rest easy until he knew the pair were both safely back on board anyway. He was reading through a report from the labs about some of their latest findings when he got a message from the bridge. 

“Commander Spock, please report to the bridge,” was all that was asked of him before the call was disconnected. Spock was instantly on high alert. It wasn't impossible for a call like this to come in, but if something had gone wrong, he would usually have been called before now, for advice or to speak to someone. Being called to go straight to the bridge and not speaking to anyone about whatever were happening first was very strange. 

Wasting no time, Spock called the Chief engineer. “Mr Scott, I have just had an unusual call to attend the bridge. Please monitor the situation.”

“Aye Sir,” he replied. There was a tiredness in his voice but Spock trusted him to be at his best when there was potential for danger. 

Spock headed straight to the bridge, very few personnel around. His arrival on the bridge was met with silence as his eyes fixed upon the intruder. 

“Kirk! I want Kirk!” the man demanded. 

Spock did not recognise him but he did recognise the phaser he had that was set to kill. Slowly raising his hands to indicate that he was no threat, Spock's mind sought out the best outcome of the situation. He needed to defuse the situation, get this intruderoff of the bridge. The easiest way to do that, was to give him what he wanted.   
At least, partially. 

“I am unable to get the Captain for you,” Spock said. He was aware that besides from the man speaking to him, another 'crew member' also had a weapon drawn. They were clearly in cahoots. 

“Get him!” the man demanded. 

“The Captain is not onboard this ship,” Spock spoke calmly. 

The intruder looked to his cohort who seemed equally confused about where else Kirk could be. 

“If you will allow, the computer can confirm this,” Spock said.

“Do it!” 

“Computer, locate Captain Kirk's location on the ship,” Spock asked. The computer whirred for a moment before declaring the Captain was not on board the ship.   
Spock immediately sensed a sharp increase in tension between the two men, their plan backfiring so badly. 

“You!” he barked at Spock “You get him back here!” 

“That is not possible. The Captain was taken from the ship sick and accompanied by the Chief Medical Officer. He was taken to a medical facility for treatment.”

This seemed to throw the man off. Spock took the man's distraction to take in the state of the rest of the bridge crew. They seemed shaken but unhurt. A small mercy that no one had been injured. At least, not here. “Take us to him!”

“I do not know that I will have clearance-”

“Do it!”

Spock nodded. “Very well. We shall have to go down to the transporter room.” 

Scotty, who had been watching everything on the security camera cursed.   
He quickly pinned Kirk's location on the planet and then found an area about as far from Jim's location as he could. 

He was hoping the opportunity would occur where he could beam them down and not Spock, however, he knew there was a possibility that they would force Spock with them, meaning he needed to make sure the area was isolated, but not dangerous.   
He wished transportation was more instantaneous. It would be easy for Spock to jump clear, but just as easy for them both to be shot in doing so. 

Mr Scott raced to the transporter room from the adjacent room, punching in the co-ordinates as though they were the last ones used. He stood casually as though not expecting anyone and waited for Spock's arrival. 

~

As soon as Spock and the two intruders left the bridge, Mister Sulu received the call about what was happening. He would be in charge if the Captain and First Officer were both off of the ship. 

He was hoping Spock would not allow himself to be taken off the ship in this situation but he also knew that he would have little choice. If he didn't do as he was ordered, the intruders may harm the crew. No one wanted that. 

He watched Spock's progress from the ships cameras all the way to the transporter room.   
Mr Scott was waiting and seemed surprised by the arrival. He hesitated with the orders given to him but complied even though by that point, it was clear that Spock was under the intruders demands and not his own. He watched them fade from view before he called Scotty. 

“Scotty, don't tell me you just sent Spock down to get Kirk,” 

“Well, that's what they would think. Mister Spock gave me the heads up so I was watching the bridge. Changed the co-ordinates before they got in. They're going to know where they get there though. There's no hospital where I sent them.”

“We need to get in contact with Kirk and then send a rescue mission down for Spock, straight away.” 

“Aye, it's not a problem, we just-” 

They were cut off when a blast hit the ship. 

“Are we under attack?” Scotty asked. 

Two more blasts rocked the ship. 

“It's not from outside, it's not another ship. These are coming from inside,” Sulu answered. “Get the Captain, get him now,” 

“Aye,” Scotty said. He turned towards the control panel for the transporter beam. He'd barely done anything when a blast sent him crashing into the wall and into darkness. 

~

Spock hadn't known what to expect when he got to the transporter room but when he saw Mr. Scott he was some what relieved.  
He would have been aware of the situation and despite not knowing what had been done, Spock trusted him. 

When they materialised in the middle of nowhere, Spock felt relief flood him.   
His captors felt not such joy. 

“Where the hell is Kirk?” one of them yelled. He struck Spock hard around the face, harder than Spock would have thought possible. The two of them were not of an imposing size, yet the strength of the blow surpassed that of a Vulcan's. 

Spock turned back to face the man. “I do not know.” 

“You tricked us.” 

“A good Captain goes down with his ship. And a good First officer goes down for his Captain.” 

“As you wish, Vulcan.” 

~

Altogether, six explosions went off on the ship before a craft left the ship, heading for the planet where three of the senior members of the crew were currently stranded. Except two of them didn't even know they were stranded. 

Whoever had infiltrated the ship had done a good job of causing chaos in their wake.   
The explosions were targeted. They might not want the whole crew to die, but they didn't want to make things easy for them either.   
The transporter was damaged. Repairable but stopping anyone coming or going right now. So they couldn't get to Spock or Kirk and McCoy.  
The communication panel had also been hit, weapons, the other crafts had been damaged.   
Everything they needed to do they couldn't do with immediate affect.   
Add to that the number of the crew that had been injured and they were in a bad way. 

The ship was stranded and vulnerable. The best they could do was raise the shields if anyone came close and hope no one wanted any trouble. Luckily, it seemed they were alone for the moment. 

Scotty had been injured in the blast and was still unconscious in sickbay. Uhura said she'd have no trouble fixing the communication panel and had got to work on it as soon as she could. Sulu could tell how worried she was about her friends, about Spock, but the work helped her to focus on something she could do to help them rather than just worrying. 

There was nothing Sulu could do but wait, knowing the crew were doing everything they could to get the ship back in working order. But waiting was always the hardest thing to do. 

~

The last thing he remembered was something stunning him. No, different to a stun. More like an electric shock running through his body. 

Spock opened his eyes slowly, his head already pounding and he wasn't looking forward to adding light into the equation. He opened them a fraction before closing them again. He decided to shield his eyes to help against the light. He went to raise his left arm before a searing pain stopped him. This time he opened his eyes, the pain in his head forgotten as a new pain replaced it. 

He looked down at the painful appendage and was relieved to find no bone penetrating the skin, which has been his initial fear. It hurt like hell but a fracture like that could kill him, with infection. 

He didn't attempt to move again. He lay there, looking upwards barely processing anything. He felt like his mind was moving in slow motion. He lay there and could see the stars in the sky. It wasn't night just yet, but the sun from the planet was setting. He recalled sluggishly that the planet had a very short night time period. A couple of hours, he thought. It took Spock a shockingly long time to realise that he was looking up at the sky through a hole in some rocks in front of him and for the longest time, he couldn't process exactly what that meant. 

Eventually, his mind pieced it together. He moved his head slightly to the left. It hurt. But he did it a little more anyway. A rock wall stood a few feet away from him. He traced it as far as he could in front of him without moving his head before painfully moving his head again, to the right hand side this time. He let a groan escape his lips, it echoed in the acoustics of his prison. More cavern walls. Water dripped down from above and there must be a pool of water there because he heard the gentle sound of the water splashing into it.   
He just lay there staring at the wall, listening to the water. 

His eyelids were heavy and he let them close, drifting back into unconsciousness. 

~

Kirk and McCoy had been in good spirits when they arrived on the planet. They hadn't gone for any reason than they both needed a release from the pressures they were under and some time together where they could just be themselves for a little while. 

But sometime into the trip the mood changed. McCoy felt unsettled and wasn't sure if it came from himself or Jim, but when they both decided they'd had enough, they headed back to the pre-arranged pick up point, the same place they had been dropped off at. 

“Kirk to Enterprise,” Kirk said as they both stood idly waiting for the voice to call back. When nothing happened, the pair shared a look. “Kirk to Enterprise. Come in Enterprise.” 

McCoy took out his own communicator and tried himself and was met with the same silence. “That's weird, right?|”

“We had established communication when we got here. And both of our communicators not working isn't likely.” 

“So how do we get back to a ship we can't contact?” McCoy asked. 

“We'll go back to the bar. They have communicating systems there. If we can't reach them there, the problem is on the ship, not down here.” 

~

“Mister Scott, what are you doing here?” Sulu asked upon entering the transporter room. 

“I wanted to see if I could help.”

He looked a mess still, Sulu wondered if he'd even let the doctors or nurses take a look at him. “I don;t think you should be here, do you?”

“Jus' let me help them get this sorted out. Jim and Bones are down there, those goons are down there with Mister Spock, and just because I dropped them off half way on the other side of the planet who knows what tech they've got to get them where they want to be. They got on the ship without anyone suspecting a thing.” 

“Yeah, we need to see how security was breached.” Sulu said, adding it to the mental checklist he was building in his mind. This wasn't his ideal situation but he felt calm and that right now, he was doing everything he could until some of the ships resources were available to him. 

Scotty groaned a little before perking up “No, don't do that, here let me show you....” 

Sulu smiled despite himself. “Don't over do it, Scotty. I'll be watching you.”

~

When Spock next woke, he spent a long time laying there trying to get his bearings. He recognised that he was in some sort of underground cavern or cave. The only way out, that he could see in the limited space he was in, was directly above him, but it had to be 20 feet up. If he were in perfect health getting out would be next to impossible.   
He could attempt to find another way out but that would depend on his physical condition, something he'd yet to determine. 

He took a couple of deep breaths and, wary of his left arm, attempted to sit up. Pain exploded in his left side and he quickly came to the conclusion that he landed on his left side. Despite that, he used his right arm to push himself off of the ground, letting the pained yell escape from him. He stopped when he was in a sitting position, leaning heavily upon his right arm, breathing more laboured than he would care for. Even sitting was incredibly painful but he wanted to try and get upright. He was becoming more aware of the cold, damp floor beneath him and knew it would sap the strength from him. He pushed himself upright, nausea increasing as he did and limping heavily and staggering to the closest wall, he leant against it for support.   
He was sweating and clammy and felt deeply sick and wished someone else was just above him, working on a way to get him out. 

He tried to think logically.   
Scotty knew where he had sent Spock. They knew where he was.   
But he didn't know how far the intruders had moved him from the beam down position. He didn't know how visible the hole would be. He didn't even know when they'd find the time to rescue him. He would have assumed they wouldn't have waited long. The fact that he was dropped in a hole and he couldn't hear a search party calling his name already was worrying. But there was nothing he could do about that. 

Looking around he could see move cavern up ahead. There might not be a way out and he might get lost if he wondered too far. Yet, he couldn't stop thinking that maybe there would be a better chance of help or rescue finding him. The hole above him was fairly small, especially if you weren't looking for it. But he was cautious to leave it just in case they did come by. He made a choice. Slowly and painfully he pulled his blue top off. His arm and ribs protested at the movements. He ripped the top up, having to use his right leg to stand on it and his right arm to pull as his left side was too weak to grasp the fabric and hold it tightly. He clumsily kicked the piece of material into the light underneath the hole. If anyone from the ship came by, they should see it. 

The exertion from the small task had sweat running down his face. He wiped it away with his arm, knowing that he wasn't doing so well. He staggered towards the path he wanted to go as quickly as he could, welcoming the supporting wall to take his weight while he recovered. The way ahead was mostly dark, he had good vision, better than a humans in the dark, but he wasn't the most agile right now. He decided he would go into the next part of the cavern and see where it went. If there was no easy, walkable path or no light, he would return. He didn't think he could afford to walk about much more than that. He set off, slow and steady, the only way he could manage right now. 

2.

“Uhura?” 

Sulu returned to the bridge ready for a progress update. She was under the console and crawled out, a grim look on her face. 

“There's more damage than we anticipated. And it seems like there's something attacking the mainframe, like some sort of virus. We have a long way to go before we're close to being up and running again. 

Sulu sighed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Get Michaels down in communication to come up and help?” 

He nodded and headed off to carry out her request.

~

Kirk inputted the code to access the ships specific transport details. 

“Three people beamed down to the planet after us,” Kirk said. 

“So? Maybe someone else wanted a little R&R,” Bones said, dismissively. 

“Which is fine, except they didn't come down anywhere near here. It's half way round the planet.”

“Well maybe they wanted to see something beside the inside of a bar. It's not that big a deal, Jim.” 

“I want to check it out,” Jim decided. 

“What?”

“C'mon, what else are we going to do?” 

“Are you forgetting that the rest of the planet is pretty much trees and desserts and other landscapes with no human life? If we go there, we can't beam back.”

“Right now, we can't go anywhere. Someone beamed down here and now we can't get in contact with the ship. We can't get onto the ship so this is the next best thing.” 

“Fine, but if someone shoots at us, I'm blaming you.” 

~

Spock's progress was slow. There was no way he could rush and he ended up using the wall of the cave as support more often than not due to his injuries. 

Wind blew through parts of the cave, creating odd noises but he ignored them as best he could. Every new part of the cave he entered he would look for a path leading to a way out, or a larger hole above him. He saw some small rays of light penetrating the darkness, but not enough for him to consider leaving any more scraps of fabric below them. 

Ahead he heard the sound of running water and it motivated him onwards. It could be a way out, he hoped. His lack of progress frustrated him as he had to take each step slowly, allowing little weight onto his injured leg. Eventually, he made his way into the next chamber of the cave. His Vulcan eyesight helped him make out the area and he quickly located the water. No way out, as darkness continued to dominate the room, but there was no way out using the water as a path. It did run from the pool in the room, but it was through cracks in the rocks and headed down. There was no chance he could follow a path through and why would he want to head further down into the caves? 

No, he needed to stay close to where he woke up. Wandering too far into the cave could be a death sentence. His injuries wouldn't kill him outright, he was certain of that, but starvation or hyperthermia could easily do just that. He took a moment to rather himself, considering what to do next. 

He could carry on and hope that the next part of the cave took him to an area with more possibilities. He wasn't hopeful though. He could see enough to know that the next part of the cave was as dark as this part was. Considering his injury he didn't want to make it worse by keep moving around.


	4. Into the Woods

Into The Woods

1.

“Well? Has anyone got anything to tell me?” 

“We couldn't find anything, Jim,” McCoy said. “There's no bodies, no blood. No reason to think that whatever happened here resulted in death.”

“Spock?”

“The science team have been looking for indicators that the population here may have fled the area. There is nothing indicating that it is the case.” 

“So what are we saying then Gentlemen? There's no sign of them here but no signs that they died or left? Should I write that in my official report?”

“We should check again for vapour trails,” McCoy suggested. 

“We have checked and there are none.”

“Maybe we missed them,” Kirk added, going with McCoy's theory for lack of a better one. “It wouldn't be the first time Science has missed something, Spock.” 

McCoy felt incredibly tense in the moments that followed. Kirk was taking a dig at Spock personally for a slight miscalculation he had made recently. 

Spock was still processing Kirk's thought process in making the comment when McCoy responded. 

“That's out of line, Jim. I know you're stressed and this is a big task but don't take it out on anybody else. Least of all the person you know isn't going to argue back.” 

Kirk stiffened in anger at McCoy calling him out and he walked away from the pair.   
McCoy let out a breath. “He didn't mean anything by that,” McCoy said. 

“I believe he meant exactly what he said,” Spock countered. “But it is of little consequence now. I shall continue my work,” Spock said, nodding at McCoy before walking in a different direction to Kirk. 

“You're welcome,” McCoy called out after Spock, who made no reaction. 

~

McCoy walked through the abandoned village the people who used to live here had called home. 

Each building was abandoned.   
Within each home, everything seemed to be in it's place. Everything was put away neatly, but there was no food, and only a few items of clothing had been left behind, hung up or folded away.   
They had left their homes and everything they had for some reason.

But what was it? 

~

Kirk circled round to each group in their search party, finding out if they had anything of interest. None could tell him what was happening and eventually he was back where he started. 

He would apologise to Spock and McCoy later. He knew that Bones was right, he was stressed and he had taken it out on Spock for lack of a better target.   
Spock was no fool, but he didn't often stick up for himself and his own faults and Jim knew he wouldn't. Using one small error against Spock in such a way was a grotesque use of their friendship. 

“Captain, there's a storm approaching. It should he here in about 20 minutes, Sir.” Ensign Richter told him. 

Kirk nodded his understanding. “We'll start beaming out.”

He sighed. He wished he knew what was happening here. 

~

The call came through from Kirk to return to their designated beaming up points within ten minutes. 

Spock and his group had headed into the woodlands near the village. “We should head back now,” Spock told the group. They started to turn back when one of them, Peterson, called for Spock. “The rest of you continue back,” he ordered.   
Spock made his way to where Peterson stood and Spock spotter it straight away. In the distance, barely visible with the thick trees obscuring the view was a building, blending in with the trees incredibly well. “Go back with the others, I shall take a closer look and then return.” 

“What about the storm, Sir?” Peterson queried. 

“I shall move at speed. Go” 

Peterson nodded and followed the same path back as the others. 

Spock calculated that if he moved quickly enough he could make the beam up back to the ship only a few minutes late. He would like to have something to tell the Captain whether this was something worth further investigation or not.   
By the time he reached the outskirts of the building rain had started to fall, not heavy, but it was still the start of the oncoming storm. He could hear distant thunder moving in. 

He moved over to the building searching for a way to see inside without using the door, which was barricaded shut on the outside. Not a good sign, Spock suspected. Spock found a gap in the building and he peered inside. It was dark and he couldn't see any movement inside. Perhaps it was just some sort of storage area.   
Whatever it was, there was not time to search more thoroughly right now and Spock hastily made his way back to the beam up point. 

There were still people to beam up, so Spock had not held the group up. He headed over to where Kirk was to inform him of the building Peterson had found.   
He didn't get a word out as Kirk, without looking up said to him “You're late back, Mister Spock.” He looked Spock in the eyes. “You aren't exempt from Commands. Do I make myself clear?” 

Spock nodded and said nothing, surprised by Kirk's word and tone. He had only been two minutes past when he was supposed to be back, he wasn't sure why Kirk was being so aggressive and apparently, it was only towards Spock. 

Pushing those thoughts aside for now, Spock went to joint the rest of the Science team for beam up, unaware that McCoy had overheard everything. 

2.

“Lieutenant, let me know when the storm has passed and I'll be in my quarters until then,” Kirk said as he walked towards the turbolift. 

“Aye Captain,” 

“Mister Spock, you have the Comm,” 

“Captain,” Spock responded and took up the position Kirk had just left. 

McCoy had been hovering on the bridge and joined Kirk in the turbolift. “Don't you have any work to do, Bones?” Kirk asked with a smirk once the doors had closed. 

“I do actually, it's called removing the Captain's head out his ass,” McCoy replied. 

The smiled drained from Kirk's face. “We'll talk about this in my quarters.”

“You bet we will,” McCoy answered angrily. 

They stood in silence and then walked in silence to Jim's quarters. Once the door had closed behind them, McCoy turned to Jim, face ruddy in colour from holding his anger in for so long. “What is wrong with you? No sooner have I called you out for treating Spock badly and then you go do it again? There something going on I don't know about?”

“There's nothing going on. Spock is held as accountable for mistakes as everyone else on this ship. That's it.” 

“He was two minutes late and you chewed him out like he strolled in not giving a damn. I saw him clearly enough running through the woods to get back on time.” 

“He's smarter than us, Bones. He would have known exactly how long it would take him to get back. He knew he'd be late.” 

“What's this actually about, Jim? You think he's being insurbordinate or what?”

“No, not especially. But there's something not right. Instinct is telling me that right now, I need to be harder on him than anyone else in the crew and I don't know why but I think I should listen to that instinct.”

McCoy looked at his friend for a few minutes, a look only a doctor could give. “Are you alright, Jim?”

“I have a terrible feeling about what happened down there, Bones. And I think we're all in danger.”

“Then talk to Spock about this feeling, Jim. At least he'll understand.” 

“You're right, Bones. Would you stay? I'm not sure I can be trusted to speak my thoughts clearly right now.” 

McCoy nodded. Kirk called the bridge and asked Spock to come to his quarters. Within minutes, Spock had arrived. He made no comment of McCoy's presence and Kirk could tell that his friend was more tense than usual. 'You did that to him', he chides himself. 

“Spock, I wanted to apologise for my behaviour on the planet earlier. It wasn't in keeping with a Starfleet Officer.”

“I disagree, Captain. It was a reminder that Starfleet expects the best from all its Officers. I made a mistake and I did not follow orders. Clearly the reminder was needed.” 

“He's trying to say that he shouldn't have been such a dick about it,” McCoy said cutting through the bullshit.

“Either way, the message has been received, Captain. Is that all?” 

Kirk frowned at Spock. He hadn't seen Spock's face so guarded for a long time now. 'Give him time,' he told himself. “Yes, that's all. Dismissed.” Kirk said. 

Spock left the room and as he expected, McCoy was on him straight away. “What the hell was that? You couldn't try a little harder?”

“I said what I needed to say. Spock will understand but he needs to process it first.”


	5. Christine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine Chapel makes some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a different non-Spock story here. Story requested was the following:  
> I know you primarily write Spock, but for the prompts, would you be into a short thing introducing what you think AOS Chapel would be like? Especially if it's Chahura :)

Christine Chapel looked around the large food hall where those studying and working at Starfleet gathered to eat. 

It was the first time she'd been to eat inside. Usually, she ate out with a couple of her classmates but both were off sick that day and she couldn't help but feel she had been ditched by them. Never mind that though. She would rather be here, learning than wasting time. 

She started to regret her choice to eat inside when she found row after row of tables full of lively, friendly chatter and wondered where she could place herself in between it all. 

“Hey, Christine,” came a vaguely familiar voice. 

Leonard McCoy, she recognised him from some of her classes, she smiled at him but didn't dare to imagine it was anything more than a greeting. 

“Come sit with us,” he called. The table housed several others but it seemed Leonard and his friend were together and the others on the table were another group. 

“That's very kind, thank you,” she said as she joined them, sitting opposite the pair. “It's so busy in here and I usually eat outside with my other friends-” she was talking too much due to nerves and stopped herself. Now self-conscious, she tucked her flowing blonde hair behind her ear. “You don't need to hear all that.”

McCoy gave her a smile and pointed to his friend beside him. “This is Jim Kirk.” 

“Pleased to meet you,” she offered politely. 

“This is Christine Chapel. She's gonna be a nurse,” McCoy said. 

“A beautiful nurse,” Jim said. 

“Well, I don't know about that,” she said, blushing a little and opening the bag she had her lunch in. 

“Brains and beauty. My kinda lady,” Kirk said and smiled broadly at her. 

A mocking laugh wafted past behind Christine followed by “Easy there, Kirk. People might think you have a type rather than just a gender.”

Taking a seat a few tables over from theirs was the woman who made the comment. She gave Christine a friendly smile and then turned to the other at her table. 

“Ouch,” McCoy said. 

“Hey, I've never ruled men out, Uhura!” Kirk yelled across the table to hers. She clearly heard him but ignored the comment and continued talking with the people she had joined. 

“She's great,” Jim said. 

“And he has no shame,” McCoy added. 

Christine looked around at the young woman again. She chatted animatedly to the friends she sat with and Christine felt her smile fade a little. 

“She's really nice from the little I know of her,” Leonard said, noting the change of expression. 

Christine tore herself away from the lively table. “I'm sure. I'm just missing my friends,” she said. “But it's so kind of you to let me join you.” 

“Well look, if they're not back tomorrow, feel free to join us again.” 

“That's so kind. 

It was a couple of days later when McCoy and Kirk were sat together again. Christine hadn't joined them on any other occasion. In fact, McCoy hadn't even noticed her in the halls. Maybe her friends had returned. 

That was until a few days later when they saw her walking into the hall talking with the Vulcan instructor of Starfleet. Vulcan's usually went through the Vulcan Science Academy, so having one in Starfleet was a big deal. 

“Look it's our friend, Christine, making friends with the Vulcan,” McCoy pointed out to Jim. 

“She's really hot. Can't you set me up?” Jim asked. 

McCoy ignored him and watched the pair. “What's she doing budding up to a Vulcan?” he mused out loud. 

The Vulcan stopped at a table and indicated to the table he was about to join, offering her the seat. 

Smiling, Christine took the seat, the Vulcan sitting on the other side of her. 

“Oh my God,” Kirk said. “Look at who she's sitting next too.”

“Yeah, so maybe she's got a thing for Vulcans,” McCoy dismissed uninterested. 

“No, the other side. Look who it is.”

Bones looked again. “Uhura?” he asked, unsure if it was her from the angle. 

At that moment she turned towards Christine and smiled before the pair hugged. They both noticed Christine's hand lingering a little longer on Uhura's back. 

Jim and Bones gave one another a knowing look. “Well,” McCoy said, surprised by the turn of events. 

“Now I want her even more.”


	6. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short piece where Spock talks about his childhood bullying to Jim. I'm not sure there's much point to this.

“I am sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise.”

“I-” He cut himself off. Wasn’t sure if he should say anything or not.

“You don’t have too,” Jim cut in.

Spock considered. For a long time. His logical mind working though things as it always did. But logic was lost to him. He wanted to share. And to comfort.  
“When I was a child, I was often teased.” Teased he said. Bullying was what his mother had called it and he found that teasing was more favourable with humans. Teasing was acceptable.“The things they said were unkind, purposely, to try and draw an emotion from me.”

Jim was curious.“What did they say?” he asked. He probably had no right to ask that.

“I shall come to that,” Spock said. “Their taunts did not work. They focused their attacks on my biology. On what I was. A human-vulcan hybrid. There was nothing about that which phased me. It was my genetics. So they turned their words against my mother.” He took a moment to consider his words before he continued.“She was a good mother. Raising a child as a Vulcan when you are human takes huge restraint. She held back, physically and emotionally. Even happy events when she was bursting with joy- I could always tell from her face- but she would remain composed and react as though she were a Vulcan herself. I could never have a bad word said against her then, or now.”

“Of course,” Jim said, automatically his mind racing trying to think of the exact words he’d used against Spock to compromise him on the bridge all those years ago. This wasn’t about that. 

“I told her little of what went on. My father sensed something was wrong, through our bond. He did his best to comfort me. Reminded me that words only held the power we allowed them to carry. I tried to remember that. I focused on my work which made things worse, somehow.” He took a moment to himself. Did he have to share this with Jim? Would it help? “The first time things became physical was after a class. I was confronted by some of the other children. They mocked my heritage as was usual and then called my mother a whore. I did not intend to attack them, it was not pre-meditated, but I did. The Vulcan teacher had to pull me away as I would not stop. He was outraged at my lack of control and struck me. There was no way to hide that from mother.”

“Wait a minute, an adult hit a child?”

“A remarkable lack of control, would you not agree?” Spock remarked, the irony not lost on him. 

Jim's own anger simmered at the confession. Spock had made peace with it. “So, what did your mother say?”

“She wanted to know what caused the fight. I could not tell her it was what they said about her. So, I told her the other things they said.” Spock took a moment to control the emotions that came with it. “I thought that they were less hurtful for her. I told her that the Vulcan children had told me I should not exist. That I was neither vulcan nor human and had no place in the universe. She was distraught. The implications she came to when she heard those words were much greater than my own. All I knew was that I had caused her greater pain by trying to shield her from the truth. It was only in later years that I realised that if I had told her what they had said about her, it would have hurt her far less than to hear what they had spoken about me. For I was the same.”


	7. Doctor

McCoy stifled a yawn as he put down the PADD and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. 

His eyes felt gritty with sleep and he stood and stretched, his back popping in a satisfying way as he moved across the room. 

The door opened and Jim came in cautiously. He expected McCoy to be sleeping at such an hour. “Hey,” he greeted. “How is he?” 

McCoy walked back over to the bed joining Jim. “He'll be fine,” he said. 

“Must have been a shock still,” Kirk said. 

Spock had been rushed in to sickbay with a deep wound across his upper torso. McCoy, as a doctor, was used to jumping in no matter who it was who was in danger. But there was always something surreal about treating alien crewmembers. The variations in the colour of their blood always left McCoy with such an odd feeling. If Spock had come in with red blood over him, he'd have been horrified and yet even though he knew the green blood was Spock's blood, his reaction to it was always more like a disaster as a paint factory than a man bleeding out.   
It wasn't an uncommon reaction, he knew that. For years when the Vulcan's had first been with mankind and they had bled, there had been such shock and confusion when any of them had bled that it wasn't uncommon for humans to do nothing to aid a stricken Vulcan.   
It had got better but it was still something that needed work, especially with new recruits. 

“Yeah. Luckily, it looked worse that it was. No major damage internally. It's not serious enough for Spock to need a healing trance. I've just gotta sit tight. I've used a mild painkiller which is fine for him, he can control his pain but the antibiotics I've got don't go down that well with him.”

“Why not? Aren't they for vulcans?”

“Yeah, but they're not for humans. There's not many human-vulcan hybrids and so there's not medicine set aside for their biology. I could work on some stuff, but I'd either need to Spock to test it like a guniea pig, or I wait until times like now when he needs it and hope to god the side-effects aren't too bad. And I can't do that either. So, I'll stick with what I've got. At least I know what to expect with this.”

“And what can you expect?”

“Usually it makes them a little delirious. Which is why I'm here until he's back to himself.” 

“You can't stay here with him alone. What if it lasts for days?”

“Don't worry, I've got back up. I'd just rather it be me here if Spock's going to start babbling incoherently, and he'd probably it rather be me too.” 

“Well don't run yourself into the ground, okay?”

“I promise. Look while you're here, I'm just going to grab a coffee, okay?” 

“Sure,” Kirk said. He picked up the PADD and looked at the injury from the scans McCoy had taken. Kirk hadn't seen the injury himself and from the looks of it, he was glad about that. Despite McCoy's cool confidence that Spock would be fine, which he didn't doubt for a moment, the injury had been deep. He was grateful for McCoy's calmness at moments like this. In nearly every other situation, McCoy could be frantic and stubborn. Maybe it was a way to stay calm when it was really needed.   
Whatever it was, he was hugely grateful for McCoy.


	8. Spock & McCoy's Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a fun interactive story but recent events just became too much.

“Did we get shot down?”

Spock didn't answer McCoy's query. He checked on the shuttle crafts controls. No power from it at all. They weren't leaving the planet the same way they arrived.

“Doctor, get whatever you need together. We must go shortly.”

Unfortunately, they were due to meet with Enterprise and it would take some time for their arrival time to pass and the ship to come and find them.

Taking into account they were possibly fired upon and there may be hostiles in the area, they needed to leave as quickly as they could. They could not transmit a message from the craft and Spock worked quickly to locate the manual override so he could release the flares.

Even if the Enterprise wasn't there to see the flare, they would be able to see the traces of it. The flare released, Spock grabbed the emergency kit and looked to McCoy.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

McCoy nodded and Spock knew he was nervous. The chances that there were heading out into hostile territory was highly likely. But they were both trained Starfleet officers and McCoy was a highly skilled person to have here in such circumstances.

Opening the door to the shuttle with some brute force, Spock had his weapon ready once they were exposed. McCoy stepped up beside him and they surveyed their surrounding. They shared a silent look before stepping outside of the craft, each carrying an emergency kit with them. After a few steps away from the craft, Spock signaled McCoy to stop and he closed his eyes and concentrated for a minute or two.

“I can't sense or hear anyone approaching.”

“That's good,” McCoy said.

Spock took in their surroundings and assumed the reason they weren't pursued was because of where they landed. There were some large pools of liquid near them, and Spock could smell the acidity of whatever substance filled them. The land was like salt, fine dust, and a light grey shade. When the wind blew, Spock could taste the salty air. He was concerned about McCoy in these conditions. It wasn't warm, like Vulcan, but it was dry and unpleasant. “Perhaps we should still near the craft,” Spock said. “The terrain is not accomodating to either of us. We may find ourselves in greater trouble if we try to leave.”

“I'm all for that,” McCoy said. He took one step towards the craft before he noticed the fire billowing from it. “Oh-” was all he said.

Spock moved faster than McCoy, moving around the rear of the craft. The fire was larger than either of them had anticipated and Spock knew that extinguishing it was hopeless. “Let us go,” Spock directed the path they were to take and McCoy lead the way. He scrambled up over the rocks that lay ahead and obstructed their view beyond them.

When he got to the top of it, he peered ahead but didn’t move any further, waiting for Spock to join him. He let Spock take in what lay ahead before he turned to him and said, “So what do we do now?”


	9. Chapter 9

It was bad timing. 

Well, for Spock, it was bad timing. For McCoy it was enlightening. 

There was still a fair amount of awkwardness between Kirk and Spock. They hadn't had the best start to a working relationship with accusations of cheating, ejecting people from ships and emotional compromising but they were still working together, strained as it was.   
Jim's death had cemented the fact that Spock did actually like Jim. He couldn't deny that, not after the meltdown he'd had when Khan had (sort of, temporarily) killed him. But Spock was still too stubborn to discuss things like friendship and every time Jim tried to suggest something they could do together to further the friendship he'd been promised, Spock rejected him.   
Despite McCoy's own reluctant insistence that Spock did like Jim, it was getting harder to sound convincing when he said it now. 

They were taking a couple of days to recover at a shore leave planet and Jim had failed to encourage Spock to make a trip down to the planet with him. Still smarting over the latest rejection, Jim hadn't wanted to head down to the planet but McCoy eventually talked him round with promises of a great night.   
It was as they got to the door of the transporter room and it opened as Spock came out that things turned suddenly awkward. 

Because Spock, caught in a lie, or deception, or whatever it was, looked exactly like a guilty half-Vulcan would. He froze on the spot and stared at Jim a little too long before deciding that it was too hard to look at Jim and dropped his gaze.   
For his part, Jim, after the shock of seeing Spock, got mad, probably not helped by the fact that Spock looked so guilty. Like he'd just been caught in bed with Jim's wife. 

“Are you kidding me?” Jim asked. “I thought you were too busy to go down for some shore leave?”

“I-” Spock started but apparently, explaining himself wasn't something he wanted to do. He clamped his mouth shut, thinking better of saying anything. 

Jim made a annoyed huff and purposely shouldered his way past Spock as he headed into the transporter room himself. Kirk was gone before McCoy had even moved and he hadn't moved because he saw something that Jim, in all his anger, hadn't seen. 

“Come with me for a sec,” McCoy said and headed into the nearest empty room which happened to be one of the conference rooms.   
Once sealed inside, the door displaying a meeting was in progress, McCoy made his way over to the table and leant against the edge adopting a casual pose. He wanted relaxed body language to try and ease the stiffness out of Spock's, at least, whatever was possible to ease. “What happened?” McCoy asked gently. 

Spock's pose didn't ease up, perhaps if he'd looked at McCoy he could have felt reassured by the posture, but he refused to meet the other man in the eye, instead staring at a point on the floor. 

“I should not have gone down, I-” he looked up and seemed to struggle with whether or not to continue. 

About this time, McCoy realised that whatever had happened down there had not been good. Spock wouldn't come back like this if he'd just upset Jim by being on the planet. He needed to find out what had happened, get Jim back on side and deal with Spock but he couldn't do all those things on his own.


	10. Chapter 10

The first thing he was aware of was a slight acrid smell. And then the realisation that something was very wrong. 

Spock's eyes opened quickly and he was aware how dim the craft was. “Doctor?” 

“Mm,” came a mumbled response.   
Spock unclipped his safety belt. The viewscreen had malfunctioned and instead of showing what was outside the craft, it was blank and black. There were some dim emergency power lights working but they weren't working well. Spock's Vulcan eyesight helped him see things more clearly. McCoy would not have that luxury.   
The craft had crashed and had ended up tilted on it's left side. Spock clambered over to where McCoy was and roused the Doctor carefully. 

“Doctor?” 

Blue eyes met Spock's own and there was a moments confusion before he recalled what had happened. “Dammit,” he muttered. “Are you okay?” 

“I am. Yourself?” 

“Maybe a little sore from the landing.” The huge bump across McCoy's brow bone said otherwise. “We crashed, right?” 

“We crashed,” Spock confirmed. “The planet is habitable. We can leave the craft if you wish.” 

“I suppose it's better than staying in here,” McCoy stated as he climbed out of his seat and followed Spock to the door. “At least I'll be able to see something.” 

Spock grabbed two of the survival kits and handed one to McCoy before attempting to open the door. When it didn't budge, he handed McCoy the other kit so his hands were free and he could dedicate all his strength to it.   
McCoy pulled out one of the flash-lights so he could see a little better and watched Spock strain so much he thought something might pop. But then he stopped straining and looked at the door. “It is not going to open,” Spock said. 

“No shit,” McCoy replied. “So, we'll stay inside then.” 

Spock nodded but did not look content.

“What's wrong?” McCoy asked. He knew Spock well enough by now to know that what Spock didn't say was just as important as what he did say. 

“Life support will only last for approximately four hours.” 

“Only four?” 

“It may be slightly more or less. I can not be sure with all the equipment down.” 

“So if we don't get out of here before then, we're dead?” 

“Not exactly,” Spock replied. 

“You've got a plan?” McCoy asked, hopefully. 

The look on Spock's face made it clear he did not have a plan. 

“Aw, fucking shit!”

“There is a breach somewhere. We are taking in water and I estimate that it will take around two hours for the shuttle to be flooded.” 

McCoy stared at Spock. “Are we on fire as well? Maybe some toxic fumes that'll kill us in twenty minutes?” 

“Perhaps. But if they are, I can not detect them,” Spock dead-panned back. 

“What can we do?” 

“I can try and use the phaser to aide an escape, however, if we are completely submerged it will amount to making a larger hole. If we can not get out in time, we will die.”

“Can you tell if we're submerged?” McCoy asked. 

Spock considered. “I could make a small hole at the top of the craft.”

“Yes, do that!” McCoy said. 

Spock adjusted the phaser and took careful consideration about where to make the hole. It took a while for the beam to penetrate all the way through and when it did nothing but air came in. 

“Well that's a relief,” McCoy said. 

“Hm,” Spock said, distractedly. He continued with the phaser making the hole bigger when the beam vanished. 

“Don't tell me it's run out of juice?” 

Spock looked at McCoy and didn't say a word, handing the phaser to him. McCoy studied it, tried it himself before throwing the thing to the floor in frustration. “God dammit, we're gonna die in here, aren't we?”

“We have more oxygen,” Spock said. “We just have to wait for rescue. The Captain will find us.” It didn't change the fact that they would still drown in the shuttle before they lacked oxygen. 

Spock was using the most positivity his neutral tone could muster up. McCoy sighed and nodded in agreement. He sat back in one of the seats. Spock was taking stock of the situation, gathering data. He moved around the shuttle checking for anything they could use. 

“Jim's not going to get to us in time,” McCoy stated. 

Spock stopped what he was doing and looked to McCoy. 

“We weren't due back onboard for six hours when we left the planet. I heard you tell Jim that.” 

“True. However, Jim did say that if they completed their own tasks they would meet us. He is aware that the shuttle has limited speed. It would make sense for them to meet us, if they had the time.”

“If.” 

“It is all we have to hope for, Doctor. A small hope, but hope nonetheless.” 

“Hm,” was all the response he gave. “You don't need the light, do you?”

“No,” Spock replied. 

McCoy switched it off and closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the water rising. 

~

McCoy hadn't been aware of how exhausted he had been until he woke. It took him a few moments to get some clarity and when he did, he wondered how much time they had left. 

He had stretched his legs across to another seat so he was more comfortable and when he sat up, he was shocked at the water he plunged his legs in too. It was cold as well. “Spock?”

“Yes?” 

“Where are you?” McCoy asked. He had raised his legs back out of the water but it was only a matter of time before the water reached the seat. 

“I am here,” Spock replied. He sounded as though he were at the back of the shuttle. McCoy fumbled for the flash-light and flicked it on before seeking out Spock. 

The Vulcan was sat on top of two empty storage crates he had moved closer to the hole. 

“Are you okay?” McCoy asked. 

“I am,” Spock replied. 

“What are you doing over there?” 

“Attempting to escape,” Spock informed him. “Stay there, Doctor,” Spock said, when McCoy looked to be coming over. “It will be best to stay dry as long as you can.”

“So, how are we escaping?” McCoy asked. 

“The phaser made a hole. I have found a piece of the shuttle that we may be able to use to increase the size of the hole.”

“Can't we use it to open the door?” McCoy asked. 

“I did attempt it. But the door will not open. I believe we crashed into a rock in some sort of body of water. A lake or river, I assume. I believe escape through the door is impossible. Once this hole is wide enough I should be able to increase it using the piece of the shuttle as a lever.” 

“Spock, that's insane,” McCoy protested. 

“Insane or not, it is the only chance we have to escape from here.”

McCoy turned the flash-light to the hole. It was a little larger than before but not by much, it was barely the size of a fist. Spock had donned some gloves and he watched in awe as Spock pulled at the metal exterior and increased the size of the hole. Not by much, but he did increase it.   
Spock was making slow progress. He was gathering all his strength with complete stillness between attempts, not wasting energy with anything else other than freeing them. 

McCoy could only watch the painfully slow process, watch as Spock used all of his strength and energy to slowly increase the gap. He forced himself to ignore the fact that the metal was tearing into Spock's skin and that green drops of blood dripped down into the ever rising water.  
He said and did nothing when the water reached the seat, despite how cold it was. 

When the hole was finally large enough for the metal lever, McCoy felt a surge of hope. “You're doing great,” he encouraged, wishing he could do more. “Why don't you let me try while you rest?” McCoy offered. 

“No offence intended Doctor, but I do not believe you would be able to assist. However, if you have anything that would assist energy levels, I will gladly accept,” 

McCoy grabbed his kit and rummaged through it. He had a few items in the kit that would suit Spock's biology but an energy booster wasn't something he would think to bring. Vulcan's had bags of stamina However, he did have an adrenaline boost fit for humans and he hoped it would benefit him. While he continued to ready himself, he threw an energy bar Spock's way. “Okay, we'll try this,” McCoy said. 

“I'll come to you,” Spock said. 

“No. You're already using your energy to try and get us out of here. You don't need to waste extra energy trying to stay warm as well.” McCoy said and he plunged himself into the water and waded over to Spock. It was just about knee height, although the angle of the shuttle meant it was deeper in some areas than others. McCoy gave Spock two hypos. “The second one is for the pain I know you're in. When we get out of here, I'm checking those hands.” Spock nodded. “I know pain relief is not usually something you like but I've been working on this for months to try and get you something that doesn't make you nauseas. I'm pretty certain I got it right and this isn't the ideal way to test it but there's no way there's any adverse side effects. At the very worst, it won't be a great painkiller.” 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock said. 

McCoy turned and started to make his way back to his seat. He hoped that Spock would get the energy he needed to get them out of here before the water got a lot higher, but looking at the hole when he'd been close to Spock showed him how little progress Spock had really made. McCoy was doubtful that Spock would be able to create a big enough hole for them to get through, but he wouldn't stop supporting his friend in his plight, he only wished he could do more.   
His wandering mind made him lose track of the awkward footing the shuttle's angle created and he took a misstep and slipped, submerging himself in the water.   
The water wasn't that deep, but the shock of slipping made his gasp in a breath of water. He struggled to right himself, thinking that if he didn't do so quickly enough Spock would be in after him and he gasped in oxygen as he righted himself, coughing and spluttering as he did so. 

“What a clumsy arsehole I am,” he said eventually, after he'd caught his breath and clambered back into his chair. The exercion hadn't done him much good and he could see Spock shooting concerned glances his way. He really was fine, if not a little embarrassed at how ungraceful he had been. 

Whether it was McCoy's slip, or the effects the hypos and food had, but Spock worked dilligently on widening the hole. It was close to big enough for them to squeeze through when the water had reached just above McCoy's waist as he stood in the water.   
It looked tight but it might be enough. McCoy had watched Spock's arms tremble with the effort to widen the gap further and if there was a chance he might be able to get out without putting more pressure on Spock, he would do his best. 

“Let me try,” McCoy insisted. 

“I should go first, to ensure it is safe outside,” Spock said. 

“Yeah, but if I get stuck, I don't think I could push you through,” McCoy joked. 

Spock looked at the hole he'd created. “Let me just try to widen it a little further. I doubt either of us can fit through it easily,” he said. Spock's fatigued muscles trembled when he picked up the lever, let alone trying to prise the metal further apart. It seemed he made a little more progress. 

“Okay, that's enough,” McCoy encouraged. “I'm sure I can fit through that.” 

They moved the empty storage boxes Spock had sat on beneath the hole and McCoy clambered up. He had to twist his body into a certain angle to get through. It was bad luck that McCoy's calf caught against the side of the metal and cut his leg open, blood spurting from the wound. “Shit!” he exclaimed as he hauled himself out. “Pass me my bag,” he asked Spock, reaching back down into the hole, vaguely aware of the slight spatter of blood decorating Spock's face. He pulled his trouser leg up and saw the deep cut. It wasn't a big wound and he quickly wiped it down and bandaged it.   
He quickly looked around himself for signs of danger and saw no one and looked back down at Spock. “I'm okay,” he assured him. Spock nodded and started to pass the emergency kits out. McCoy carefully put them to one side, making sure they wouldn't fall into the water surrounding the crashed shuttle. 

Spock barely had the strength left in his arms to haul himself out. He adopted the same shape as McCoy to squeeze through the hole, but once his arms were out, he struggled to pull his remaining body weight out. McCoy had to grab and haul him out as best he could. It didn't help that they were both soaked through and it carried extra weight, let alone them being cold as well. 

It took Spock a moment to recover once they were free from the shuttle and McCoy noticed Spock's hand rub his midsection. He may have caught it climbing out of the craft, it wouldn't be surprising the way he'd had to do it. 

The sky was a ghastly yellow tinge looking sick and ill but the unmistakable storm clouds ahead were somehow worse. 

“Over there,” Spock said, point to a slight clearing up ahead where the trees gave some slight shelter. 

McCoy nodded and they both clambered over the shuttle and through the shallow water and onto dry land, heading into the trees and the shelter it gave. 

They both sat in the shallow shelter breathing heavily. They were soaked, cold and exhausted. 

“Now we can wait for rescue,” McCoy said. 

2.

McCoy sat and looked at way the shuttle peaked out from the water now. 

It seemed to be sinking further into the mud or sand below it as it filled with water. McCoy shuddered as he imagined that watery grave. Of Jim and a landing party finding their lifeless bodies inside. 

The ground was soggy from the gentle rain that fell around them but they did get some shelter from the trees.   
Spock had closed his eyes not long after they had taken shelter. McCoy didn't think he was sleeping. He wasn't one to sleep if they weren't in a safe position, but he did need to get his energy back and the best way to do that was to do nothing other than that.   
So he stayed silent and let Spock rest. He ate and took note of their supplies, going through both emergency kits. He took his own medical kit and put some supplies into Spock's kit so that if for some reason they got separated, Spock would have items that might help him. 

When Spock was recovered enough, Bones wanted to take a look at Spock's hands. They rested comfortably across Spock's midsection, which he could also do with having a look at. But, there wasn't a lot of blood and he didn't think Spock was too injured from anything. 

Eventually Spock came back to awareness. He took stock of their surrounding and himself and the Doctor. 

“Doctor?” Spock said. 

“It's been quiet around here,” McCoy replied, knowing that it was both a greeting and a query. “I haven't seen anyone or anything. No signs of life at all. Although maybe the weather is keeping everyone away.”

“I doubt a little rain would stop anyone who was truly curious from investigating what it was that crashed here. I believe we may be fortunate enough to be in an uninhibited part of the planet.” 

“Lucky us, I guess,” McCoy said. “Let me take a look at your hands.”

Spock hesitated just a moment before slipping off the gloves carefully. It was a good job they had them in the shuttle as they had protected Spock from a lot worse damage. But he still had suffered some injuries. 

McCoy looked at Spock's hands without touching, knowing that Spock didn't like skin to skin contact at the best of times not even taking into account how sensitive Vulcan hands actually were. He went from his bag and found a hypo for the pain and some salve . “You can put that on yourself,” McCoy told him, once he opened the pot for Spock. 

Spock did as instructed and covered the wounds in the balm which had a numbing effect. McCoy then wrapped Spock's hands in a light bandage. “You can put the gloves back on if they give you some better protection.”   
Spock replaced the gloves and McCoy took a quick look at Spock's midsection. Some slight scraping and a longer cut down one side of Spock's torso but nothing bad. 

“How is your leg?” Spock asked. 

“It's okay. A little tender but I'll survive. 

“You have a rather large bump on your head,” 

“That explains the headache, then,” McCoy said. He gently probed the bump to see where it was exactly. “No blood?”

“No.” 

“Well, I think I'm okay then. It doesn't hurt too bad either.”

“That is a relief,” Spock said. 

“So how long do you think until the Enterprise gets to us?” McCoy asked after a beat. 

Spock pondered the question, muttering some calculations aloud, such as their expected time of arrival back at the ship and the time it may take for them to be found. “I would expect a landing party to arrive within the next 24 hours.” 

“24 hours?!” McCoy replied. It wasn't the news he was expecting. 

“The shuttle is dead. It will give off a beacon but it is not powerful. They have to be looking close to the planet to find it. And they do not have a location for us. There are several planets and moons between the two destinations which they may have to check before they come to this one. However, Jim will not give up on us. I have no doubt about that. He is resourceful and there is no one I would rather have on the ship leading the way, searching for us.” 

“Well that's true,” McCoy said and carefully stood up. He stepped away from the shelter of the trees and began to walk away. 

“Where are you going?” Spock asked. 

“Nature calls,” McCoy replied. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” 

“Nah, I think I'll be okay,” he said but he couldn't ignore Spock's concerned look. “I'll be quick and I won't go far.” 

Spock nodded and McCoy was out of sight.   
When McCoy returned Spock encouraged him to get some rest and despite some initial reluctance, McCoy was tired and decided to listen to the advice. They were safe where they were, they just needed to hang on a little longer. 

~

Night fell and McCoy still slept. 

He'd have been concerned about it and the head injury if McCoy had worked himself so hard on the planet they had visited. McCoy had taken a lot of care of them and while Spock had assisted him as well as he could, it was McCoy's field of expertise and he excelled in it. 

Spock's awareness snapped back to him as a twig snapped somewhere behind them.   
There were plenty of things that it could be but Spock felt uneasy.   
Carefully, he turned to where the noise had come from and looked for any movement. He saw nothing but he did not feel at ease. Moving beside McCoy he gently woke the man and whispered to him. “I fear we may not be alone,” Spock said. 

“Hang on,” McCoy said and shoved a flash-light into Spock's hand. “Maybe this will frighten them off,” he explained. 

Spock nodded in the darkness. He flicked the light on, back to the area he heard the noise. He carefully panned it around the area and saw nothing moving. It still didn't make the uneasy feeling relinquish. 

“What do you want to do?” McCoy asked. He trusted Spock's instincts as a leader. 

“It would not be wise to move in the darkness. We should remain but stay vigilant,” Spock decided. 

“Okay, I have another flash-light here. If we get them both on, we can keep a better lookout,” McCoy said as he pulled out the other one and flicked it on. Sitting back to back, they remained on guard for the rest of the night. 

~

When morning came, Spock ventured into the woods to look for any traces that something other than small creatures had been close to them last night.   
He was relieved to find no traces but he still felt uneasy about their location. 

They were so close to the crash site that if anyone came to see it, they were sitting ducks. But then when Jim arrived, he would be looking for the shuttle, and they needed to be close by. Spock took the time to really look around them. Was he missing a more obvious location they could wait it out that might offer better protection?   
There was the water and beyond that a rocky hill. They couldn't see beyond that and Spock didn't think it was worth wading across the water and climbing the not small hill when the other side might be no better than where they were. There was no shelter there anyway. 

The trees offered some protection but as Spock moved further along, he noticed that there was another hilly area which seemed to have some recesses in it. 

“Doctor, stay here. I am going to investigate up ahead,” Spock said. 

“You think that's a good idea?” McCoy asked

“I plan to merely look from a safe distance. I shall take no risks,” Spock ensured. 

“Well make sure you don't because we only have one another to rely on.”

Spock nodded and headed up towards the hill. The hill was partially rocky at the base and as Spock grew closer he could see there were some shallow nooks in the rocks and a few larger holes they went back, perhaps into caves. They seemed to be natural rather than man made. A shallow nook would give them a way to be more protected from the rear. Spock would suggest exploring the caves for better shelter if they were better equiped.   
But the nook would do them fine and Spock headed back to McCoy. 

~

The rain fell heavily as they sat in there new location. It was drier than the trees but the rain was coming down to heavily, the ground was soaked.

They constant wet was not making McCoy feel great and he could only imagine how miserable Spock would be. He wasn't used to this kind of weather condition.   
He unwound the bandage around his leg and probed it gently. It felt pretty good considering. He cleaned and redressed the wound before turning to Spock and rechecking his injuries. The hand injuries were also healing well, something McCoy was relieved of. He knew the delicateness of Vulcan hands. Spock left the gloves off after they were bandaged again. 

“It should not be long before the rescue party is here,” Spock suggested. “I am sure they will be close.” 

“I hope so,” McCoy lamented. “I can't wait to be dry.”

Spock knew McCoy was relying on him throughout this and already, Spock had mislead McCoy. The Enterprise should have been here already. It shouldn't take that long for the ship to arrive, to trace them. But they weren't here. 

The constant raining and the fact they had both been soaked through since escaping the craft, McCoy a little before that, not to mention the cold climate of the planet would not do either of them any good.   
While this location was better than the trees, it was still damp and cold. They were only just out of the rain, but anytime the wind blew, it would hit them. 

The caves close by were tempting. Spock knew it was much more likely that creatures, perhaps even humanoids could live in those caves. However, it was going to be a risk he would be willing to take soon. Spock's own biology did not care for this climate at all, however, he did have the ability to control his body better than a human. McCoy was starting to shiver with the relentless chill from being damp.   
McCoy was his responsibility and he needed to take action. However, the risks were great. He had to sell the idea to McCoy in a way that didn't highlight Spock's need to do this solely for McCoy's benefit and that the risk they were taking was worth it. 

“I have been thinking,” Spock started. “I think we should look at the option of exploring one of these caves for shelter.”

“Okay, but the Enterprise will be here soon, you just said-”

“It is overdue.” 

Silence fell between them, save for the gentle wind and patter of rain surrounding them. “What does that mean?” McCoy asked, concern for the ship and his friends on board. 

“There are so many variables to consider. They could have been held up at so many points along the way that us not being there may not even be a factor to them yet. So we need to find somewhere safer to wait.” 

“I don't know, Spock. A cave is a big space.”

“We do not need to climb through the depths of the cave. Just far enough that we are sheltered from the elements. So that we could start a fire. The warmth would be most welcome. Dryness. And a source of light which may keep away anything that lurks in the caves.” 

“Would we even be able to maintain a fire? We can't get firewood out there?” 

Spock was relieved that McCoy seemed keen to go with the plan. “The kit should last 8 hours. We will have to think of how to keep it burning in that time.” 

“Okay, let do it. But, we're doing this together, right?” 

“Of course,” Spock appeased. “We will need to watch one another's backs, Doctor.” 

McCoy nodded, his eyes betraying some fear at the prospect. “Okay, well then let's do this before I change my mind.”

3.

Spock dropped the stones and two large sturdy branches in front of McCoy. 

McCoy raised his eyebrow as he picked up the branch. “You know what they say about sticks and stones, Spock,” McCoy quipped. He didn't know if Spock did know what they said about it. It was an old Earth saying that he couldn't imagine logical Vulcans using. 

Spock, knelt at the pile, divided the stones into two piles and handed McCoy half of them. “Do tell me, Doctor,” he said, pocketing his share of the stones. 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones,” McCoy said, not feeling that the second half was needed. 

“Yes, they are a most effective weapon, although primitive,” Spock agreed. 

Spock hadn't picked large stones but ones that would hurt and drive back any one or thing they might encounter, but if they had a meeting that was more hostile, they were incredibly ill prepared for it. The branches were heavy and would hurt if they used it on someone but they needed to be close to strike. And it would be easy for them to become outnumbered. 

This was what they had decided and now they needed to push on with it. “Are you ready?” He asked. 

“I guess so,” McCoy said, holding the wood in both hands and Spock had a feeling that if they got attacked, McCoy would be defensive, not offensive. Spock did not want to inflict violence upon anyone or any creature but they were in a bind with no other options.   
“Take the rear and if you see anything, alert me,” Spock ordered. 

They walked along the rocky hillside until they reached the first of the two caves. Spock indicated for McCoy to keep following him and took them to the next cave instead.   
He explained as they walked “I believe the angle of the cave will give us better shelter.”

McCoy hoped that was true. The fire they hoped to start needed to be kept from the wind and constant rain. They stepped inside of the cave entrance. It wasn't very large and there was a slim passage way which was the only way onwards. 

“Stay close,” Spock said. The narrow passage curled round and they couldn't see ahead of themselves. 

“I can barely see anything in this light,” McCoy said. 

“A flash light would be useful but you will be unarmed.” 

“I'm gonna take the risk,” he said and quickly located the flash light and flicked it on. Spock waited until he was ready to continue. The path didn't go much further and opened into a large area.   
With little light able to make it from outside, McCoy panned the light around the area. It was a fairly large area but there were maybe four or five different paths going through the cave into deeper parts. 

They located an area they would provide them with the most protection and put down the few possessions they had. Spock pulled out the fire kit from his pack and quickly set it up. In no time at all, they had a small but welcoming fire illuminating the cave and offering some warmth. The cave itself was cool and still felt damp, but it was better than being in the rain and wind. 

McCoy warmed his hands by the fire and sighed contently. Spock wasn't ready to relax so quickly. “Stay here,” Spock said. 

“Hey, how can I watch your back if you keep going off alone?” McCoy asked. 

“I don't intend to let my back out of your sight. I merely wish to look into the other entrances to make sure they are clear.” 

Spock moved swiftly and silently, briefly checking each of the passages before retreating and checking the next.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Testing Times  
> Summary: McCoy has been working on a project that tests the capabilities of the crew in high stress situations to better help him understand the crews needs if they go through a traumatic event. Spock will do anything not to go through with McCoy's test.   
> Notes: Set in the AOS universe. Sorry TOS fans. I know I have many ideas and potential stories from TOS but I just haven't got round to watching any TOS recently.

“So, explain it to me then, Bones,” Kirk said looking at the room, Spock a step behind his Captain. 

“It's pretty simple,” McCoy said and stepped inside over to the chair. “You sit, and the computer recognises you from an iris scan,” he said, verbally explaining rather than showing. The doors close and you are inserted into a immersive experience to stimulate a high stress situation you might come across on a planet. It's great for training cadets as it'll give them a taste of what to expect but it can help the medical department see how people cope with that stress and ways to help them. Different reaction that we can monitor for will help us know if we need counselling or medication that might help. It's going to help people so much,” McCoy was enthusiastic, practically bouncing on the spot. 

“Well it sounds like it will be a good tool,” Kirk said, smiling. 

“Wanna try it?” McCoy said, looking between Spock and Kirk, hoping they would offer. “It's obviously completely safe, I've tested it numerous times and I tested it myself several times now.” 

Kirk looked uncertainly at Spock who shook his head no. 

“What are you saying no to, you helped me programme the damn thing!” McCoy insisted. 

“That does not mean I believe that using this is a good idea,” Spock said. 

Kirk frowned. “You don't think it's safe?” 

“It is perfectly safe, as the doctor has advised,” 

“So, why shouldn't I do it?” Kirk asked. 

“I apologise, Captain,” Spock said, but offered nothing more on why he objected in the first place. “If you'll excuse me,” Spock didn't wait to be excused and left the pair. 

Kirk waited until Spock was out of range to hear him before he said anything. “That was weird,” he stated. “Was he off with the idea?”

“He didn't say anything. Maybe he just doesn't want you to do it. But you should anyway because it's safe.” 

“Look, I trust you Bones and I will do it, but I need to talk to Spock first, okay?”

McCoy sighed, utterly deflated. “Sure, fine, put him first why don't you,” McCoy muttered. 

“Doctor McCoy,” Nurse Chapel said coming over from where she was working a short distance from them. “I know you're keen to test this and I'd be happy to try it out with you. If, you would like me too,” she offered, a hesitant smile on her lips. 

His own smile returned. Jim smiled softly. “I'll leave you too it,” he said. 

~

Kirk tracked Spock down to his quarters and he was buzzed in straight away when he arrived. 

He didn't waste time with pleasantries. “What was all that about, Spock?” 

“I apologise, Captain. It has nothing to do with McCoy, I was distracted by some personal matters and I allowed it interfere in my work. It will not happen again,” 

“That's not like you, Spock. Are you sure everything is okay?” 

Spock nodded.


	12. Chapter 12

“Did we get shot down?” 

Spock didn't answer McCoy's query. He checked on the shuttle crafts controls. No power from it at all. They weren't leaving the planet the same way they arrived.   
“Doctor, get whatever you need together. We must go shortly.”  
Unfortunately, they were due to meet with Enterprise and it would take some time for their arrival time to pass and the ship to come and find them.   
Taking into account they were possibly fired upon and their may be hostiles in the area, they needed to leave as quickly as they could. They could not transmit a message from the craft and Spock worked quickly to locate the manual override so he could release the flares.   
Even if the Enterprise wasn't there to see the flare, they would be able to see the traces of it. The flare released, Spock grabbed the emergency kit and looked to McCoy.   
“Are you ready?” he asked. 

McCoy nodded and Spock knew he was nervous. The chances that there were heading out into hostile territory was highly likely. But they were both trained Starfleet officers and McCoy was a highly skilled person to have here in such circumstances. 

Opening the door to the shuttle with some brute force, Spock had his weapon ready once they were exposed. McCoy stepped up beside him and they surveyed their surrounding. They shared a silent look before stepping outside of the craft, each carrying a emergency kit with them. After a few steps away from the craft, Spock signalled McCoy to stop and he closed his eyes and concentrated for a minute or two.   
“I can't sense or hear anyone approaching.” 

“That's good,” McCoy said. 

Spock took in their surroundings and assumed the reason they weren't persued was because of where they landed. There were some large pools of liquid near them, and Spock could smell the acidity of whatever substance filled them. The land was like salt, fine dust, and a light grey shade. When the wind blew, Spock could taste the salty air. He was concerned about McCoy in these conditions. It wasn't warm, like Vulcan, but it was dry and unpleasant. “Perhaps we should still near the craft,” Spock said. “The terrain is not accomodating to either of us. We may find ourselves in greater trouble if we try to leave.” 

“I'm all for that,” McCoy said. He took one step towards the craft before he noticed the fire bellowing from it. “Oh-” was all he said. 

Spock moved faster than McCoy, moving round the the read of the craft. The fire was larger than either of them had anticipated and Spock knew that extinguishing it was hopeless. “Let us go,” Spock directed the path they were to take and McCoy lead the way.


	13. Chapter 13

McCoy stifled a yawn as he put down the PADD and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. 

His eyes felt gritty with sleep and he stood and stretched, his back popping in a satisfying way as he moved across the room. 

The door opened and Jim came in cautiously. He expected McCoy to be sleeping at such an hour. “Hey,” he greeted. “How is he?” 

McCoy walked back over to the bed joining Jim. “He'll be fine,” he said. 

“Must have been a shock still,” Kirk said. 

Spock had been rushed in to sickbay with a deep wound across his upper torso. McCoy, as a doctor, was used to jumping in no matter who it was who was in danger. But there was always something surreal about treating alien crewmembers. The variations in the colour of their blood always left McCoy with such an odd feeling. If Spock had come in with red blood over him, he'd have been horrified and yet even though he knew the green blood was Spock's blood, his reaction to it was always more like a disaster as a paint factory than a man bleeding out.   
It wasn't an uncommon reaction, he knew that. For years when the Vulcan's had first been with mankind and they had bled, there had been such shock and confusion when any of them had bled that it wasn't uncommon for humans to do nothing to aid a stricken Vulcan.   
It had got better but it was still something that needed work, especially with new recruits. 

“Yeah. Luckily, it looked worse that it was. No major damage internally. It's not serious enough for Spock to need a healing trance. I've just gotta sit tight. I've used a mild painkiller which is fine for him, he can control his pain but the antibiotics I've got don't go down that well with him.”

“Why not? Aren't they for vulcans?”

“Yeah, but they're not for humans. There's not many human-vulcan hybrids and so there's not medicine set aside for their biology. I could work on some stuff, but I'd either need to Spock to test it like a guniea pig, or I wait until times like now when he needs it and hope to god the side-effects aren't too bad. And I can't do that either. So, I'll stick with what I've got. At least I know what to expect with this.”

“And what can you expect?”

“Usually it makes them a little delirious. Which is why I'm here until he's back to himself.” 

“You can't stay here with him alone. What if it lasts for days?”

“Don't worry, I've got back up. I'd just rather it be me here if Spock's going to start babbling incoherently, and he'd probably it rather be me too.” 

“Well don't run yourself into the ground, okay?”

“I promise. Look while you're here, I'm just going to grab a coffee, okay?” 

“Sure,” Kirk said. He picked up the PADD and looked at the injury from the scans McCoy had taken. Kirk hadn't seen the injury himself and from the looks of it, he was glad about that. Despite McCoy's cool confidence that Spock would be fine, which he didn't doubt for a moment, the injury had been deep. He was grateful for McCoy's calmness at moments like this. In nearly every other situation, McCoy could be frantic and stubborn. Maybe it was a way to stay calm when it was really needed.   
Whatever it was, he was hugely grateful for McCoy.


	14. Chapter 14

“I am sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologise.”

“I-” He cut himself off. Wasn’t sure if he should say anything or not.

“You don’t have too,” Jim cut in.

Spock considered. For a long time. His logical mind working though things as it always did. But logic was lost to him. He wanted to share. And to comfort.  
“When I was a child, I was often teased.” Teased he said. Bullying was what his mother had called it and he found that teasing was more favourable with humans. Teasing was acceptable.“The things they said were unkind, purposely, to try and draw an emotion from me.”

Jim was curious.“What did they say?” he asked. He probably had no right to ask that.

“I shall come to that,” Spock said. “Their taunts did not work. They focused their attacks on my biology. On what I was. A human-vulcan hybrid. There was nothing about that which phased me. It was my genetics. So they turned their words against my mother.” He took a moment to consider his words before he continued.“She was a good mother. Raising a child as a Vulcan when you are human takes huge restraint. She held back, physically and emotionally. Even happy events when she was bursting with joy- I could always tell from her face- but she would remain composed and react as though she were a Vulcan herself. I could never have a bad word said against her then, or now.”

“Of course,” Jim said, automatically his mind racing trying to think of the exact words he’d used against Spock to compromise him on the bridge all those years ago. This wasn’t about that. 

“I told her little of what went on. My father sensed something was wrong, through our bond. He did his best to comfort me. Reminded me that words only held the power we allowed them to carry. I tried to remember that. I focused on my work which made things worse, somehow.” He took a moment to himself. Did he have to share this with Jim? Would it help? “The first time things became physical was after a class. I was confronted by some of the other children. They mocked my heritage as was usual and then called my mother a whore. I did not intend to attack them, it was not pre-meditated, but I did. The Vulcan teacher had to pull me away as I would not stop. He was outraged at my lack of control and struck me. There was no way to hide that from mother.”

“Wait a minute, an adult hit a child?”

“A remarkable lack of control, would you not agree?” Spock remarked, the irony not lost on him. 

Jim's own anger simmered at the confession. Spock had made peace with it. “So, what did your mother say?”

“She wanted to know what caused the fight. I could not tell her it was what they said about her. So, I told her the other things they said.” Spock took a moment to control the emotions that came with it. “I thought that they were less hurtful for her. I told her that the Vulcan children had told me I should not exist. That I was neither vulcan nor human and had no place in the universe. She was distraught. The implications she came to when she heard those words were much greater than my own. All I knew was that I had caused her greater pain by trying to shield her from the truth. It was only in later years that I realised that if I had told her what they had said about her, it would have hurt her far less than to hear what they had spoken about me. For I was the same.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Doctor McCoy, you're wanted in your office,” 

“I'll be there in a minute,” he replied as he finished up with his current patient and grabbed Nurse Chapel to get her continue on with his tasks.   
He headed to his office, just beside sickbay and wasn't surprised to see someone in there waiting for him. 

His heart dropped a little when he saw it was Spock. He was stood waiting, hands behind his back and his posture stiff and perfect as normal. But he knew that along with Spock it was inevitable that work came too. He'd have an efficiency report, or a new batch of staff reports for McCoy to do. Something that would generally take up more of McCoy's time doing paperwork than his actual job.   
Of course, he was aware that despite his complaining, Spock was only doing his job, but maybe if he were not quite so efficient at it, they might get more of a break in between all the well filled out paperwork that Spock drove through the crew. 

“Spock, how can I help you?” McCoy asked, walking past the Vulcan and taking his seat behind the desk and rummaging through his desk drawer to find a snack bar which he opened and took a bite of before actually looking at the Vulcan awaiting him. 

Of course, Spock's face was the blank canvas it always was. McCoy mused on the idea that Spock could be absolutely raging about something right now and this would still be the face that he'd see. That can't be good for anyone. 

“Is this a bad time?” Spock asked as McCoy took another bite of his bar. McCoy went to answer around a mouthful but thought better of it and swallowed before answering. 

“Not at all, I just missed breakfast and thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. What have you got for me?” he asked, awaiting the new task Spock was to set him. 

“A problem,” Spock answered after a moments hesitation. 

“What kind of problem?” McCoy replied, already his doctors mind overtaking the cynical side that expected to have extra work dumped on him. 

“I have been experiencing some significant... discomfort.”

The snack bar discarded now, half eaten, McCoy picked up one of the small medical scanners and moved over to where Spock was. “Where's the discomfort?” he asked as he set up the device for Spock's unique biology. 

Spock indicated to his midsection and McCoy thought he detected a brief glimpse of something flit across the Vulcan's face, guilt, shame, he wasn't sure what, but it was gone as quickly as it came.   
“There was an incident recently, planet side.” 

McCoy paused what he was doing as he recalled the last planet stop they made. It sometimes passed him by considering he would not always be that involved with the where and why if he had more pressing issues on his mind. And he had been busy, the result of Spock's last visit to sick bay when he had assigned McCoy the task of amending all the duty rosters. “Wait, the last time we stopped off was a simple supply drop off,” McCoy said. He remembered Jim talking about it with him over drinks one evening and how Spock was handling it. He tried to recall if Jim had mentioned why Spock was dealing with it. 

Spock interrupted his train of thought. “It really was of no consequence. However, I-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” McCoy interrupted. “There's no way I'm letting that slide. So you can tell me, or I can call the bridge and everyone can find out about this. I know which I'd prefer.” 

Spock for his part, didn't react to McCoy's threat. He probably didn't believe McCoy's threat and he'd be right, because McCoy wouldn't have done that, although he would have called in Kirk. “Does it really matter right now?” Spock asked. 

McCoy frowned at Spock. “Okay. Seeing as you came to me and said you're in pain I'm going to take that to mean that it's pretty bad. So for now, I'll let it go. But I do wanna know what happened.” 

McCoy scanned the where Spock had indicated. There was some deep tissue trauma and damage to the organs. “Did you get the surface skin healed or something?” McCoy asked. 

“No. I have received no treatment,” Spock said. 

“Can I take a look?” McCoy asked, already discarding the scanner. Spock complied by lifting his top slightly. “What the hell,” McCoy muttered mostly to himself as the skin looked completely undamaged but that went against all that his scanner, and Spock himself, told him. He had the urge to run his hand along the skin but knowing how much Spock disliked physical contact he refrained from doing so. 

Fixing the injury was not a big deal and thirty minutes later in a private room, McCoy checked the scans again to check the injury and found no signs. His happiness at that was short lived when he noticed the pain indicator was still relatively high, as though the injury persisted.


	16. Chapter 16

McCoy sat in the canteen in the early hours of the morning, nursing a coffee. 

He was awake far too early but he knew he'd not get back to sleep. Something had been on his mind a while and he wasn't sure what to do about it. 

A while back, at the start of the mission, he'd received a message relating to the fact he had a half Vulcan crew member on board and that there was a concern over after effects of the destruction of Vulcan.   
It seemed that although it had been a while since the incident, that only now were the effects coming to the surface in some of those that were affected by it.   
Spock had been on the planet, had lost his mother and in a weird way, had sort of been the cause of it. Even though it wasn't actually the fault of the Spock that served on the same ship, McCoy wasn't sure how he'd feel if a different version of him had caused Earth to be blown up and killed his Mom. 

So he'd been trying his best to do his duty but Spock seemed to resist every attempt he made.   
He started off casually, just trying to talk which ended up in an argument that Jim had to stop. If he were being fair, he was the one arguing. Spock was good at goading him and saying very little to push him further into retaliation. So then he booked Spock for a medical.   
He skipped out on the first appointment, but when it was re-scheduled, he attended without incident. McCoy tried some gentle probing of Spock's mental state but it was like getting blood from a stone. Spock gave little away and anything that came close to touching upon his human side, he'd brush off as though he were nothing but 100% Vulcan. 

He was no better off than he had been before.   
He looked at his PADD and the symptoms of Survivor's Guilt. He had been probing this as the likeliest condition Spock may be suffering from. 

Irrational and potentially obsessive thoughts about the incident and his survival.   
Spock was quiet. He didn't share what he was thinking on a personal level. If it was the running of the ship and efficiency of the staff, he wasn't going to be shy about speaking up but if it was personal then forget it. He couldn't remember Spock even sharing a personal experience that was work related.   
True, he didn't spend that much time around him, but he doubted he wouldn't have caught   
onto something by now.   
He had noted that Spock and Jim's relationship had gotten a lot better since Khan and Jim also had never mentioned anything either. When it came to Spock, he could be quite excited about progression of their friendship, so a shared experience probably would be something that Jim would mention to him, especially if it was work related. Maybe not a personal story, Jim would probably keep that to himself, but McCoy felt that if Spock was sharing, he'd start off slowly and not some big personal thing first.   
He'd ask Jim about. Not in a prying way, but just to see if there were any worrying patterns. 

Flashbacks.  
Spock could be a little distracted at times. He was on the ball when it counted, Bones couldn't deny that, but sometimes, he seemed to drift a little more than he imaged a Vulcan should, but he didn't know Spock that well. Maybe he'd always been a bit of a daydreamer.  
He had no evidence that Spock had any flashbacks at all.   
There'd be no way to know if Spock suffered a flashback unless he told McCoy about it. 

Difficulty Sleeping.   
He had mentioned this during the medical, and Spock had spouted his usual 'Vulcan's require less sleep' bullshit, so he had a feeling that although avoiding giving a straight answer, if he had, McCoy wouldn't have liked what he'd said.   
He wasn't affected in performance, but he had a feeling that Spock got less sleep than even he would like.   
He could monitor Spock's sleeping pattern easily enough. 

Appetite Changes.   
A tough one for a Vulcan. Spock's diet was limited enough and carefully balanced. He couldn't really afford to change his diet much. He didn't eat meat or fish and a host of foods native to his planet were destroyed. There was a lot of substituting going on.   
He'd check to make sure there were no changes to Spock's diet that caused concern. 

Irritability.  
Spock wasn't immune to all emotions, as much as he might like to think he was. But besides trying to talk Jim out of a stupid idea, or verbally sparring with McCoy, he didn't seem irritable.   
He probably wasn't the right person to check this one. Maybe he could speak to Uhura. 

Apathy.  
That was a tough one. At the best of times, Spock could seem to not care about most things. But he did care. He cared about certain people and things more than he could hide and he did get compromised by that. He'd shown that when Khan had killed Jim. But that was a while back and these symptoms were supposed to be developing.   
On the reverse of that, Spock could be more reckless than was logical at times. The whole 'put me in an active volcano' thing wasn't heaping confidence that Spock was always thinking sensibly and sanely.   
Suppressing emotion was something Vulcan's did daily, but Spock has his achillies heel. McCoy thought this could be useful.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some violence here.

Spock didn't know how much more he could take. 

The Orti, the alien race who had imprisoned him, shackled him to the table with heavy cuffs across his ankles and wrists. His trousers and tunic were removed, leaving him in black short-like underwear and a black t-shirt. He feared what they would do to him, but after securing him, he was left.   
The heavy stone door closed and the room fell into darkness. He hadn't realised at first that the light source had come from outside the room but it made itself very clear one he was alone. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he looked around for a window, for some source of natural light but there was none. It was dark, silent and he was alone. The room was dank and musky scented. 

He knew that this was a common practice in interrogation tactics and he surmised that if these were after secrets from the Federation, they may use this method to extract information. Time passed but he had no way to keep track. He tried to keep his mind active but he found the longer he remained there, the harder it became to focus.   
He was given no food or water and thirst, even for a desert species like himself, soon made it's presence known.  
At times, he would think someone or something was with him in the pitch black, that he could hear someone moving, almost feel them watching or a ghost of a touch against his cold skin. 

As the thirst and hunger got worse, he started to drift in and out of consciousness more.  
The Orti came in when he was unconscious but their actions soon woke him. Hoisted off the table he was on and instead chained up from his wrists to a hook hanging from the ceiling, he was doused in water as a way to clean him. He'd been laying in his own filth for days. The shock of the water caused him to gasp awake and once the shock wore off, he found himself licking at the droplets of water that ran over his parched lips.

One of the Orti, perhaps the leader, or at least the leader of this small group of three, made some guttural communications with the others and while Spock was still processing the relief the water gave him, he felt the pressing of a presence against his mind.   
Spock immediately focused his energy of reinforcing his mental shields. They had been a little neglected but they were strong and he felt some pushing against his mental boundaries before it retreated. That was followed by more talking between his captors before one came over and drew a blade out. Carefully he drew the blade across Spock's skin in several places, checking with his cohorts as he went. Another stuck a hypo into Spock's neck before applying something onto the cuts. Spock had expected it to cause pain and was surprised when it didn't. 

With that done, Spock was returned to his solitude, this time left hanging from the ceiling. His arms quickly went numb and the water thrown over him started to dry, leaving the clothes sticking to his body and slower to dry. He felt the cold more now and the hunger in him was hard to ignore. It made everything feel colder.   
He knew he was becoming more sluggish as time went on. Days again, left alone. Hunger and thirst gnawing at him.   
Next time he was visited it was by just one of those that had come before, the one that had tried to assault his mind. This time was no different. The attack was similar to the last time, but Spock still resolved to not allow them to breach his mind.   
Spock could sense the frustration of the guard.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last addition from this year.  
> Hope you've enjoyed these snippets.

He didn't remember anything, just darkness surrounding him before he realised his eyes were shut. He opened them and stared dumbly at the shape in front of him before his mind kicked in and he realised the shape was a person. 

“Spock?” 

“Lieutenant,” Spock answered, turning back to face him. 

“What happened?” he asked, looking around himself. 

“It seems you discovered a hidden entrance to a cave,” Spock answered. 

Sulu looked past Spock and realised they were both in a huge cave, light shining down through gaps above in the rock. There were many of the holes, some much larger than others. Looking up above him, Sulu saw the hole that he must have fallen through. “Wow,” he said appreciating the great fall. 

“Are you injured?” Spock asked. 

“I don't know,” he answered and slowly started to test him limbs to see if anything hurt. “A little bruised I guess but otherwise okay,” 

“We should get you out of the water,” Spock said, assisting Sulu in slowly getting to his feet. It was harder than he imagined. His head hurt and he checked his fingers for blood after feeling around the back of his head. He felt a little dizzy too. 

“Are you okay?” Spock asked, looking a little concerned. Spock had noticed Sulu's pallor change as he stood. The last thing he wanted was for his colleague to pass out. 

“Yeah,” he insisted as Spock led them out of the water and onto a dry flat rock. Helping Sulu sit back down and resting him against the rock, Spock then returned to where Sulu had been in the water, picking up the communicator he must have dropped when he fell. It was broken but they wouldn't leave anything behind. 

Spock crouched down beside Sulu and removed his blue shirt, quickly tearing a strip of fabric off and wrapping it around a gash on Sulu's leg. 

Sulu gasped in pain, not having been aware of the injury until he saw it. “Damn, I didn't even know.” 

“You are in shock,” Spock told him. “But, I do not believe you have suffered any serious injuries.”

“Have you contacted the ship?” 

“Not exactly. I suspected that the cave would be too deep to carry an effective signal down here so I left the communicator above the larger cave entrance I found. They should be aware of the dangers of the cave and be able to trace us.”

Sulu nodded as he shivered with the cold. “I don't think I've ever felt so cold,” he admitted.


End file.
